


The Gemini

by margotculysses



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Drama, F/M, M/M, Missing Persons, Mystery, Piano, Romance, Smoking, Tragic Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-08
Updated: 2016-11-26
Packaged: 2018-05-31 23:28:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 38,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6491797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/margotculysses/pseuds/margotculysses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Cullen's don't want to remember what they've lost. The Cullen's don't want to forget what they've lost. Why can't Bella Swan just mind her own damn business? A mystery. A love story. Probably no happy endings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve had this story in my head for so long, I just had to write it. It’s sort of an anti to all of the Twilight crossover stories I’ve seen about the Cullen’s adopting Harry and Harry later finding out that Edward is his mate. I intend to have it go off in a different direction a couple chapters in, so if that is what you are looking for, this might not be for you. This is a love story, but probably not in the way you would expect. I hope you like it.  
> There are characters in this story that are not listed, but I plan to use many of them for only short periods of time and the introduction of characters from the Harry Potter universe are meant to be a bit of a surprise so I don't want to give it away. Same goes for relationships. Hope you enjoy.

 

The Cullen family had had a difficult five years. They had moved three times. After everything that had happened, the Cullen's found that they couldn't stay in Astoria, Oregon any longer. They'd lived there too long already, nearly nine years. All of the children had already graduated high school and attempted to blend is as young adults, in their early twenties. This had worked surprisingly well so far, they had gotten by attributing their youthfulness to good genes, luck, but it was suspicious to the locals that so many talented and attractive young adults would choose to stay so long in the town they went to high school in, that they wouldn't want to go away for higher education. Even further, the lack of aging in their adoptive parents, Carlisle and Esme was starting to be unbelievable. Carlisle's coworkers commented on it daily. They were starting to rouse suspicion. They'd outstayed their welcome. Leaving was difficult, though, it was emotionally devastating for the Cullen's to leave the last place they'd seen him, his childhood home that he'd loved so much. To box up his room and pack up his clothing, to finally move the last things he'd touched. The task had left Esme sobbing tearlessly. And if he were, somehow, okay… Then how would he ever find them again? How lost he'd be if he came looking and they weren't there…

But they had had no choice. Their first attempt had been Fairbanks, Alaska, where the animal populations had become so depleted that the town was starting to suspect illegal hunting, suspicions had fallen on the curious new family. After that, the Cullen's had given Vancouver a shot but the population density had proven too much for Jasper, who was the newest, well, second newest, addition to the Cullen family. Jasper couldn't handle the temptation of so many living in such close proximity, he unfortunately snapped and had killed a young man. After this incident Jasper had disappeared with his partner, Alice, for nearly a year.

By the time Jasper and Alice had returned the rest of the family had settled in Forks, Washington. With a population of fewer than 4,000, even smaller than Astoria, isolation was easily obtained. The near constant cover of rain was the perfect hiding place for a coven of vampires. Actually, everything about Forks would have been perfect if it weren't for Isabella Swan. The girl was Edward's singer, the lure of her blood nearly too enticing, it had taken every ounce of will power he had not to attack her. Edward had inadvertently revealed some of his power to Bella after saving her from a near fatal car accident and since then she had taken to following the family around like a lost pet. She'd eventually approached them with enough close guesses, (touting her sources as Native American literature) that Rosalie, beautiful, statuesque, and protective above all else, had suggested they tear her throat out. Her persistence proved enough to wear Alice down, however, and she took pity on the girl, befriending her.

"Haven't we learned our lesson?" Rosalie had said, "Shouldn't we know better than to let humans in to our lives? After everything that happened to hi-,"

"Shut up, Rosalie." Edward had interrupted, "Don't talk about him."

Rosalie had made a huffing noise of disbelief, "Oh you are one to talk. If it hadn't been for you, if you hadn't _pressured_ him he may still be here! He might've still been alive!"

" _Enough,"_ Jasper had said with enough force to shock Rosalie in to silence.

"You don't know that he isn't, Rose." Alice said this softly.

"Neither do _you,_ " this was said with resentment as Rosalie glared daggers at Alice.

"That's not her fault, Rosalie!" Edward had fumed.

"She can't help that she can't _see_ him-," Jasper was interrupted as Carlisle entered the room and raised his hand to silence them.

"That is certainly enough," Carlisle said sternly, "You all appear to be acting your physical age." This cowed the group, they looked at their hands as Carlisle continued, "It's too late now to ignore this Isabella girl, she knows what we are, we'll have to keep tabs on her if we want to stay here."

"But Carlisle we don't have to stay here!" Rosalie had insisted, desperately.

Carlisle had looked at Rosalie with some sympathy, "Rose, do you really think it's a good idea for this family to move again? I don't know that we have the strength." As he said this, Carlisle looked to the left, towards the hall, which leads to the room where all of _his_ things were stored, his room if he ever came back to them.

Rosalie had followed his line of sight and bitten her lip, and then she took a deep, albeit unnecessary breath and calmed herself.

Edward was less inclined to agree, "Carlisle, I don't want anything to do with the human. Please, I can't…"

Carlisle had nodded to his son, "You don't have to love her, Edward. She isn't joining our coven. It is safer for us to have her near. Let Alice be her friend, let her feel close to us. It _will_ be safer this way, I promise you."

Edward returned the nod, "Fine, Carlisle, if you think it's best."

This was how Bella had ended up as a common fixture in the Cullen household. They'd lived in Forks for nearly a year now and it appeared that everything was going smoothly, the "children" had adapted to school and Carlisle to the hospital where he worked as a doctor. Even Esme, who had become so closed off, so silent, was beginning to open up again. She had even finished a few paintings. The human girl still followed the family around, much to the ire of Rosalie and Edward. The girl's crush on Edward was painfully obvious and Edward could barely stomach it. Aside from Alice, the Cullen's as a whole attempted to stay as far from Bella as they could. Jasper was somehow more silent that he would usually be around a human, avoiding almost all contact with the girl. Even Emmett, who at one point would have been excited at the prospect of having a human to impress and harass was less than enthused. The last human they'd all learned to love had left enough of a mark on the Cullen clan; they didn't want to be reminded of him, they didn't want to replace him. It was a difficult dichotomy.

Alice invited Bella to the Cullen household one afternoon in late December, in an attempt to cheer up. The holidays were a somber time for the Cullen family, something that reminded them too much of the past. When _he_ had been with them he'd always loved Christmas, it was always such a happy time. Even when he'd been away at school, he'd return and it would be like he'd never left at all. They had doted on him especially at Christmastime, even as a teenager they spoiled him like a toddler. Rather than be faced with constant reminders of times they couldn't get back, the Cullen's preferred to ignore the holidays all together. No indication of Christmas could be seen in the Cullen household.

The Cullen's could all hear Bella's old truck as it rumbled in to their driveway. As she approached the door all but Esme and Alice cleared out, heading to their own rooms.

"Good evening, Isabella," said Esme as she answered the door, greeting their guest welcomingly.

"Esme!" Bella was happy to see her, as she so rarely was able to interact with any Cullen other than Alice.

"Please come in, Alice is waiting for you."

Bella entered the house and Alice greeted her with a hug, which made Bella shiver from cold.

"Sorry Bella," Alice had apologized, grinning still.

"No don't worry about it," Bella smiled back at her and turned to speak again to Esme, "I always forget how beautiful your house is."

Esme smiled at Bella in return, "That's kind of you, Bella."

Bella looked back to Alice and reached in to her purse to retrieve a collection of DVDs. Alice looked on eagerly, she always did love human movies, even if they reminded her of _him,_ sometimes. Upon noticing the theme of red and green cases, however, she became less excited.

"I figured since it's nearly Christmas-"

"I'm going to head upstairs to interrupt whatever Carlisle's working on," Esme cut the human off as her smile dropped, "Have a nice night, girls." She turned abruptly and fled up the stairs.

Bella blinked at the spot where Esme had just been, "I'm sorry…" She said to Alice, confused, "Did I do something wrong?"

Alice wasn't smiling anymore either, "No, no Bella, it's fine, we just don't ah… Celebrate Christmas."

"Oh God, I didn't even think," she looked around and seem to notice the lack of any kind of decoration, "Are you guys um… Jewish? I don't have any Hanukkah movies but I'm sure we-"

"No Bella," Alice had a small smile as she said this, "Let's just watch something else. I think that new romantic comedy is on cable."

Bella rolled her eyes but seemed relieved, "Alice, you know I hate cheesy movies like that."

"Yes, but _I_ love them," Alice was grinning again as she guided Bella to the sofa and started fiddling with a remote.

Alice landed on a channel and leaned back to watch as Bella looked around the room. Bella looked at Alice for a moment biting her lip, she seemed to come to a decision and opened her mouth, "Alice, just wondering…"

Alice had a smile on her face as she said, "Yes?" Without looking away from the television.

"Where is everyone else?"

Alice continued to look at the screen, "You mean Edward." She didn't say this as a question.

"No!" Bella sputtered, "No, not at all. I mean like Jasper and Emmett, uh, where are they?"

Alice hummed and said in a sing song voice, "They're busy, Bella, don't worry about them."

Bella made a displeased sound and started to watch the movie. After a few beats she spoke again, "It's just-"

Alice sighed and turned to Bella, weary, but not angry, "What is it Bella?"

"It's just that it seems like he doesn't- I mean they don't _like_ me… What did I ever do to him- I mean _them_ , damnit, them. I just want to get to know them."

Alice paused for a long moment, looking at Bella.

Bella suddenly seemed very nervous, "I-I just…"

Alice finally spoke, "They're just not that comfortable around humans."

Alice said this with finality, attempting to end the conversation on pleasant terms, but Bella persisted, "But Alice, they spend all day with humans and Carlisle is a _doctor_ he's with human patients all day! Why don't they want to get to know _me_? Why doesn't he like-?"

" _Bella,_ " Alice was being far sterner than Bella had ever seen her, "Please. Just let it go. I'm sorry that Edward doesn't want to spend time with you. None of us have had the best encounters with humans. It takes some getting used to. We aren't used to having humans around who know so much about us."

Alice was holding a lot back, of course, but did her best to be kind. She could see Bella fighting the urge to continue with her barrage of questions, so Alice spoke again, "Please Bella, don't push them. It won't help anything. Can we just watch the movie please?"

Bella seemed to want to nothing more than to stubbornly persist but she managed to restrain herself and sighed, "Fine Alice. Let's watch the movie."

When the movie ended Alice and Bella continued to sit on the sofa and chat amicably for a time, until Rosalie entered the room. Bella stopped mid sentence as Rosalie stood behind the sofa, glaring at Bella over Alice's shoulder.

"Alice." Rosalie said flatly, "Come in to the kitchen, I have to talk to you."

Alice looked back and smiled, "Can't it wait, Rose?"

Rosalie did not seem amused, "No."

Alice stood as Emmett appeared behind Rosalie. He tried to smile at Bella, though it came out as more of a grimace.

"Sorry Bella, I'll be right back. Wait here okay? Do you want me to get you a cup of tea or hot chocolate or something?" said Alice as she made to head to the kitchen.

"Uh sure, tea would be good." Bella remained seated and looked at bit uncomfortable at the idea of being left alone in the Cullen house.

As the three entered the kitchen Alice spoke, "Alright, Rosalie, what do you want?"

Rosalie stared dead eyed at Alice as Emmett pretended to poke through some cupboards.

" _What_ , Rose?"

"Alice, can you please get your pet human out of my living room. Some of us would like to use the television too, you know."

Alice stared back at Rosalie for a moment before looking back at Emmett, who was opening and closing the refrigerator. She smiled then, "Does Emmett want to play his video games?"

Emmett looked at Alice but didn't speak. Instead he eyed Rosalie, who said, "That's not the point! It's a shared space and _some_ of us don't want to have to sit next to the human."

"Rose, come on, she isn't hurting anyone, let's just all sit together and _pretend_ to be civilized."

Rosalie's eyes doubled in size and she looked about ready to scream at Alice but before she could Emmett interrupted, "Okay! Okay! Rose, calm down. Jesus. It's not that bad, let's just try to play nice okay?"

Rosalie spun around and glared at Emmett, who rolled his eyes, "You can be mad all you want, but I'm gonna go set up my Xbox and try to be nice to the little human."

If they were in a cartoon, steam would be coming out of Rosalie's ears.

Emmett lovingly smiled at her and said, "Maybe you can whoop her ass in street fighter. Might relieve some tension, babe."

They heard a laugh from upstairs, Edward, obviously eavesdropping.

Alice chuckled as well, happy to hear her family joking for once.

Rosalie huffed for a moment before speaking, "Fine! Just go in there and watch her, I can hear her rummaging through our things. The little spy."

Emmett stepped forward and kissed Rosalie on the cheek, "Deep breaths honey." And he disappeared into the living room.

Rosalie was calmed, her irritation more prickly now than outright furious. Alice smiled. She was relieved to have Rosalie in a more manageable mood.

They heard a door creak open from the other room and Rosalie guffawed, "I mean really, can't she respect our privacy? Was she raised in a _barn_?"

" _What do you think you're doing?"_

When they heard Emmett's furious voice from the other room they ran at breakneck speeds, in a split second they stood at the entrance of the hallway to the left of the living room. Suddenly, Jasper, Edward, Esme, and Carlisle were at their backs. Emmett stood in front of _his_ room, fury radiating from every pore of his being.

The door was open and the bedside lamp had been flicked on. None of them had looked in here, not since they'd moved and put his things back as they were, exactly how he'd left them. His bed was in one corner with its expensive blue bedding and goose feather pillows. In another corner an old arm chair sat with a plush throw strewn over it, the throw was red and gold, two colors he'd become so fond of after starting school, it had been his favorite and it still smelt a bit like him all this time later. In another corner was his desk, elegant mahogany, scattered with spiral notebooks full of his journaling and doodles, a few ballpoint pens were next to an old pot of ink with a quill still stuck in it. Rolls of parchment sat on the desk as well, some with half written letters composed on them. On his bedside table sat a few ancient looking tomes, one written in Latin was open and laid on his comforter.

Bella stood in front of his desk, she had obviously been peering at his writings, in one hand she held a stuffed animal, a wolf, and in the other a stick of wood, eleven inches, holly, they knew. It was the only thing anyone had been able to send the Cullen's when _he'd_ disappeared.

Bella stood frozen, staring at them with wide eyes, and she whispered, seemingly without even meaning to, "Who-who's Harry?"

If the Cullen's hearts could beat they all would have skipped in that moment. Esme made a strangled sound and Rosalie lunged forward.

"Rosalie!" Alice called as Rosalie's fingers wrapped around Bella's throat.

Bella still clutched the stuffed animal and the wooden stick as she was lifted on to her toes by Rosalie's grasp.

" _How dare you!_ How dare you enter this room and touch his things!" Rosalie howled as Bella gasped for breath, "This is not for _you_ , you cow, you heinous _bitch!_ " On her last word Rosalie threw Bella to the ground. As she fell, she dropped the items and Edward dashed forward and caught them before they hit the ground, he held them to his chest desperately. Bella stared at Edward from the floor as she caught her breath, his expression was murderous, "I-I'm so-"

"Isabella, it is time for you to leave." Carlisle's voice held no emotion as he spoke and he refused to meet Bella's eyes.

She stood, they could all hear her heart racing and her rasping breaths and she spoke "But I-I didn't mean- I'm so sor-"

Alice yanked Bella's arm nearly hard enough to dislocate her shoulder, and she yelped as she was dragged to the front door past the solemn faces of the Cullen clan. Alice spun her around and opened the door, pushing her through it.

Bella tried to speak, "Alice, I'm sorry I didn't know! I'm sorry!"

Alice was rigid, obviously restraining herself, as she said, "Just go, Bella. You're lucky Rosalie didn't kill you."

"Wait, Alice, no please! I'm sorry!"

"Go home, Bella." With that Alice closed the door.

Alice went back to _his_ room. The other Cullen's were all still there, staring at his things. They could all feel the influence of Jasper's sadness on top of their own. Edward delicately, lovingly, set the wand back where it belonged, on his bedside table, and his stuffed wolf on the bed next to the pillows. They stood there a few moments longer, in silence.

Carlisle let out a long sigh and they exited the room, they all looked back as Carlisle closed the door. The last thing they saw was the old sign that _he_ had taken down when he'd turned 11, the sign that they'd decide to hang over his bed like it did when he was small.

It read in blocky, childish letters, "HARRY"


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: I seem to be getting positive feedback so far, thanks everyone. I imagine I’ll keep updating this story very regularly. I can’t seem to stop writing it.  
> A couple notes on this chapter: this is written from Bella’s perspective, but I don’t mean for her to continue on as a main character for too much longer. I’m mainly using her a narrative tool to further the plot before I introduce other characters to take her place. This chapter is definitely a little Bella-bashing. I think her motivation in the Twilight universe leaves something to be desired and I use this chapter to explain what drives her to be so persistent and to elaborate on her character flaws.  
> On with the story: In which the Cullens try to break up with Bella but she’s in denial.

 

 

The bruising on her neck was positively aching today but Bella Swan didn't care. It was the day after the disastrous movie night with Alice and Bella was practically burning with curiosity. And really the bruising wasn't so bad. It was easily hidden with a bit of cover up, which put her father, Charlie, off her trail. He was already suspicious after she had returned home the night before, obviously upset, and stormed up to her room, refusing to speak to him.

Bella had to know what the Cullens were hiding from her. She had already come so far. She had figured out that they were vampires. This was of course thanks to Jacob Black, who she did feel a bit guilty about manipulating. The boy had taken to following her around a bit like a puppy and calling her home every few days, but it wasn't her fault that boys were easy to get information from. Well, most boys, anyway. Not Edward Cullen. Edward was so mysterious, so intriguing, and if she was being completely honest with herself, pretty easy on the eyes. Edward was enthralling. The moment she had seen him she was under his spell.

This attraction was only made worse when he had saved her from being killed in that car accident. Edward had pushed that car away from her. She had _seen_ it. Once she had figured out what they were and confronted Edward, he had told her, very rudely, that the only reason he'd done it was to save himself and his family from temptation. But she knew better. Bella was smart, she had figured out what the Cullens were in only a few months, and she certainly wouldn't be deterred by her mistake last night.

Bella was deep in thought when she entered the kitchen that morning.

"Mornin' Bella, I've got the coffee on and I'm making some eggs. Want toast too?" Charlie spoke to her with an earnest smile.

Bella loved Charlie, she did, but she was irritated with his pestering when she was so busy with her own thoughts, "No thanks, Charlie. I'm not hungry."

Bella brushed past her father and grabbed a granola bar from the cupboard. She then made her way to the front door.

"Bella, wait up!" Charlie called after her and followed her to the door, "Heading to school already?"

"Yeah, Charlie, it's only a week till winter break and I have some extra work to get done before class." A lie, of course, Bella simply wanted to get to school early to scope out the Cullens before classes started, and hopefully speak to Alice about what happened.

Charlie stepped forward and closed the door that she had been opening, "Hold on a sec, Bella," said Charlie as he stepped in front of her, "You know that I don't try to get too much in to your business, but you had me worried last night. Can you at least tell me you're okay? You seemed so upset."

Bella rolled her eyes, really, she was practically an _adult_ , "I'm fine, Charlie, really. Don't worry, I just need to get to school."

Charlie sighed and looked undecided for a moment before putting his hands up in surrender and stepping out of her way, "I just worry about you, Bella. I'm not sure that those Cullens are the best friends to have, I've heard a few things from Billy Black-"

"Charlie seriously! The Cullens are good people, the Quileutes just have all these weird superstitions about them for some reason."

"I know, Bella. I trust you to take care of yourself. Just… Tell me if something's upsetting you, okay? I'm just trying to look out for you. I am your Dad, you know."

"You don't have anything to worry about. _Really._ Everything is fine." Bella was getting tired of this, Charlie wasn't usually so overbearing. She was _seventeen_ , for God's sake. She could take care of herself.

"Alright, if you say so, Bella. Have a good day."

"Thanks, Charlie. You too." She walked past him as quickly as she could before he said anything else.

Bella rushed in to her car and drove away while biting in to her granola bar. Really, Charlie couldn't even begin to understand, this was so much more important than he thought.

The Cullens were just so _interesting_ , she had never met anyone like them before, well, obviously, since she'd never met any vampires before, but still. She had a right to know what was going on with them. They owed it to her. Alice was already so accepting of her and she was sure if Edward would just get to know her… But it doesn't do any good to dwell on childish ideas. This _isn't_ a fantasy, Bella was sure of it. She could feel it in her bones that her and Edward were meant to be together. It just felt so right. He had to feel it too. She just had to believe that.

Bella may have made a mistake last night, going in to that room, but she had just seen it so many times, that mysterious door that went to nowhere. She never saw any of the Cullens go in or out of it. She had never even seen it open, and when Alice left her alone well… She just couldn't pass up the opportunity. And it had been worth it.

Despite the bruises on her neck from Rosalie and the sharp pain in her chest she had felt when Edward had looked at her with disdain, it was still worth it. It was just another layer added to the mystery that was the Cullens. Who _was_ Harry? The room she had seen was a teenager's room, surely, and not like any of the Cullen's rooms; it didn't have the same elegance and style that the other rooms had. It looked like it could belong to one of her classmates. Except, of course, for all of the weird things, the occult-looking things. The quill and ink was a complete oddball that she just couldn't understand, who would write with a _quill_? But the other things, the books with strange titles and a list of ingredients that seemed so bizarre, like something out of a fantasy novel. Something _witchy._

Did the Cullens live with a _witch_? It didn't make any sense. The room was set up like someone was living there, like someone had just left moments ago, in fact, but Bella was sure no one did. How could something like an eighth Cullen escape her radar? It was impossible. But then _why_ did they have that room? The Cullens had only lived in Forks for a year, they couldn't still have the bedroom of someone who had left home, that wouldn't make any sense, they'd only _been_ there a _year_ and that room looked like it had been someone's for a long time. Now that she thought about it, it looked a bit like her room back with her mother, in Arizona. Like the childhood room she had tried to make look more grown up.

Bella pulled in to the parking lot at the high school and clumsily parked her truck, taking out a small shrub due to her distraction. She slammed the door and immediately scanned the area for a sign of the Cullens. Nothing.

The Cullens didn't ever have a _child_. Vampires certainly can't have children. And if the Cullens did have another member who had left, they wouldn't have _grown up_ with the Cullens. Each member had been turned and joined the coven at the ages their bodies were now.

Bella made her way in to the school and headed towards her locker, she probably would benefit by getting some coursework done before the Cullens arrived. She had been a bit distracted lately and her grades were suffering, but who cares about school when you have _vampires_?

Bella had half heartedly tried to review some of her history notes, she was pretty sure they had an exam today, but was too distracted thinking about _Harry._ The _witch._ She just couldn't stop trying to figure out who he was to the Cullens. He must have been a child who had lived with them. But why would a _child_ live with a coven of vampires? Even if he was a witch he must have family to take care of him.

Bella was suddenly reminded of _Interview with a Vampire_ , that Anne Rice novel, maybe it was like that. Maybe they had a child vampire that stayed a child forever. How terrible. Maybe he'd gone mad and slaughtered people. No, she was just being ridiculous. This was real life, not some silly book. And really, what are the chances that the Cullens would have a child vampire who was a witch? That was just absurd. Besides the Cullens wouldn't raise a child vampire, there have to _laws_ against it. Did vampires have laws?

Bella was still very involved with her thoughts when the Cullens entered the school. She stood from where she had been sitting next to her locker, the history book falling from her lap and landing haphazardly on the floor, not that she noticed. She was far too transfixed with the Cullens. She stared openly at them as they made their way down the hallway. Halfway to Bella, Rosalie shot her a piercing glare and turned down another hallway, Jasper, Emmett, and much to her consternation, Edward followed her, leaving just Alice to approach.

When Alice got to her she paused. Alice licked her lips and bent over to pick up Bella's dropped book. She fiddled a bit with the pages before she spoke, "Bella, I'd just like to apologize in case Rosalie hurt you last night. She was upset."

Bella shook her head immediately, "No, no. It's my fault. I was snooping." Bella smiled as she said this.

Alice looked up to meet Bella's eyes but she didn't return the smile, "Bella, why do you want to know so much about us?"

This surprised Bella, she found herself momentarily speechless.

Alice continued, "I don't want to hurt your feelings, but you aren't a part of our family, you're my friend. We are all very old, Bella. We have a long past. You can't know everything about me, and you don't have the right to know more about my family than what I choose to tell you."

Bella felt a cold spread through her chest and down her arms, "But Alice-,"

Alice shook her head.

Bella charged forward, feeling desperate, "Alice, I am a part of your family!"

"Bella, you _aren't,_ you barely know us."

"But I want to know you! I'm _going_ to be a part of your family I know it! Please, don't shut me out. I'm sorry I went in to that room, but I was just so curious. I just want to know more about you, about Edward. About your family."

Alice paused, her brow was furrowed and she seemed to not know how to continue. The bell rang, signaling the students to head to class.

"Okay, Bella," said Alice, and Bella began to feel hope well up in her chest, the coldness subsiding a bit, "Look, meet me here after school and we can go somewhere to talk a bit, alright?"

Bella let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding, "Okay, thank you, Alice."

Alice made a humming sound as she eyed Bella and then spoke, "I can't promise that you'll be satisfied with what I tell you, Bella. But don't push me. And please leave my siblings alone today, they don't need an _excuse._ " As she finished her sentence, Alice turned on her heel and started down the hallway.

Bella stood there for a beat, frozen until the second bell rang and snapped her in to motion.

What did she mean an _excuse?_

The school day had positively dragged by. Bella had to sit on her hands to keep from tapping her fingers all through class. Even at lunch, when Bella had made towards the Cullens table, where she usually sat a bit off to the side with Alice, she had been shooed away by a shake of Alice's head. Alice mouth, _Later_ , to Bella, which did calm her a bit. Bella had been forced to sit with her human friends, who in comparison were just so _boring_ and _ordinary_. Who cares about prom and the school newspaper when the Cullens exist?

Bella's human friends were clearly a bit taken a back when Bella sat at their lunch table. Lauren Mallory, in particular, seemed less than impressed.

Jessica Stanley spoke to her first, "Bella! Nice to have you on this side of the cafeteria for once."

Lauren was quick to contribute, unsurprisingly, "Have a falling out with your Cullens?"

Angela Weber, a girl who was a bit kinder than the other two, interrupted before anything more pointed could be said, "She's just joking," She smiled at Bella then, "It really is nice to have you sit with us, Bella."

"Yeah, totally," said Bella, clearly not really paying attention, as she continued to stare at the Cullen's table.

Lauren made a big show of rolling her eyes in Bella's direction before continuing her conversation with Mike Newton, who openly watched Bella for the rest of the lunch period.

Mike and Angela both made multiple attempts to start conversations with Bella, but she couldn't find it in her to more than mumble a response, she was just so _distracted._ And no, she wasn't going to the prom this year. Who cares about _prom_? Unless of course Edward asked her… Then she might think about going.

Bella somehow managed to make it through her classes and when the final bell rang she practically sprinted back to her locker to wait for Alice. She felt as though she had waited hours before Alice finally appeared at the end of the hallway. Bella waved at her eagerly, when Alice looked at her Bella noticed that she was standing next to Edward. They appeared to be having an intense conversation. If _only_ she could hear them. She was dying to know what they were saying. She continued to watch them until they parted, Edward shot Bella another chest pain inducing look before heading out the main door.

Bella hoped Edward wouldn't stay too mad at her.

Alice didn't approach but instead waved Bella over. Alice didn't wait for Bella to reach her before heading out the doors. Bella followed her quickly, suddenly afraid of being left behind. When she got outside it was drizzling, which was the standard weather for Forks, it seemed. Alice was standing next to Edward's volvo, but the other Cullens appeared to have already left.

"Alice," said Bella, as she got nearer, "We're taking Edward's car?"

"Yeah well, I drove with him today so he decided to get a ride back in Emmett's jeep."

Alice got in the drivers side and Bella hurried to get in the passengers seat. As she fiddled with the seatbelt she couldn't help but be a bit excited at the prospect of being in Edward's car, "He could have come with us, you know."

Alice paused for a long beat as she started the car, "He didn't want to."

"Oh."

Alice pulled the car out of the parking lot and began driving down the road. She spoke as she drove, "We need to go somewhere secluded to talk, but my house probably wouldn't be the best right now. Is Charlie home?"

"No, he shouldn't be for another few hours, he's been busy at the station this week." Bella was disappointed she wouldn't get a chance to see the other Cullens again, but at least Alice was going to talk to her.

"Great, we'll go there."

They spent the rest of the ride in silence.

Bella always felt embarrassed when Alice came to her house and this time was no exception. The house was tiny, especially when compared to the Cullens home, and so completely ordinary that she feared that Alice and the other Cullens would start to think that _she_ was ordinary as well. She wasn't just another human, she wanted so badly for them to realize that, she _was_ special. Alice knew that. She had to.

They went up the stairs and entered Bella's room. Bella was relieved that she had tidied up this morning, if her house wasn't glamorous, at least it could be clean. Alice made herself comfortable on Bella's bed and lay there for a few moments before speaking, "Bella, I think you should start focusing on your own life a bit more. It's not healthy for you to be so fixated on us."

This was not what Bella had wanted to hear, "What?"

Alice sat up from her spot on the bed, "You need to worry more about your own life as a human. You can't dwell on my family so much, it's not good for you."

"But Alice… I'm not _obsessed_ or anything."

Alice gave Bella a dubious look.

"I'm not! It's just so interesting, you're so mysterious, I just want to figure you out. I… I care about you."

Alice's set her mouth in a firm line, "Bella it is not your place to figure out my family and our pasts. You'll just put yourself in danger. Rosalie could have really hurt you last night."

"I don't care about that Alice, I just have to _know_ -"

"Bella, you don't have to know! Just let it go. This is really none of your business."

"I know enough already. I know that Harry lived with you. I know that he was a witch."

Alice stopped dead after Bella spoke Harry's name. She seemed in that moment more serious, more dangerous, than Bella had ever seen before. She spoke coldly, "You don't know anything about him."

Bella paused. She didn't want to upset Alice, but she could tell that she was losing her. She had to say something to stop her from leaving. What if the Cullens left? What would she _do?_

Bella huffed a bit before speaking, "I know enough to guess. I can just make my own assumptions or you can tell me the truth," she wasn't sure if it was in her best interests to continue you but she did anyway, "I'll figure it out. The same way I figured out what you are."

Alice's eyes flashed dangerously and she raised her lip in something akin to a snarl.

Bella was starting to wish that Charlie were home.

"Are you threatening me, Bella?" Alice's brows were furrowed and though her tone was dangerous, her face was weary.

Bella shook her head, "No, I'm just telling you. I'll figure it out either way. I'll keep poking around until I know the truth. You might as well just tell me now."

"Bella. Can't you see how rude you're being? This is _private_. It's not for you to know."

"I'm sorry, Alice, but I just have to know. I have to."

"Or _what_?"

"Or… Or I don't know what I might let slip. I might- I might mess up and say something to Charlie about your family…"

Alice's eyes were burning holes in to Bella's head but Bella found that she couldn't meet them. She was ashamed of herself, she would never out the Cullens, but she needed to know what was going on. It would be worth it. Just like the bruises on her neck had been.

" _Well_ ," said Alice, her voice icy cold, "I see. Fine, Bella, if that's how you want it to be."

Bella raised her eyes from her lap and looked at Alice, hopeful.

"If I tell you who he-," here Alice's voice cracked, she cleared her throat and continued, "If I tell you who H-Harry is, will you back off? Will you stop pushing us?"

"Yes!" Bella nodded enthusiastically, excited.

Alice looked at Bella with narrowed eyes and gave an irritated shake of her head before she spoke again, "You have to promise me, Bella. Don't _ever_ ask me about him again. Don't ask my family. Do you understand?"

Bella stopped for a second. Don't ever ask again. Okay, she could make that work. If she just had more information she could probably put the puzzle together on her own, "I promise."

Alice's mouth was turned down in a scowl as she continued to look at Bella's eager expression with disdain. She rubbed her temples as she spoke, "He's our brother. We adopted him when he was five. He lived with us for twelve years."

Bella's eyes were as wide as saucers, "He's human?"

"Yes."

"But he's a witch, right? And does he still live in that room?"

Alice was not amused, "He studied magic, yes. No, he doesn't live with us."

Alice wasn't giving Bella the answers she wanted. She needed more details. Alice was clearly holding back.

"Magic. Wow. Like Devil worshipping? Like séances?"

Alice pursed her lips, "No. Not like _Devil worshipping._ "

Bella continued, unperturbed, "So, where is he then? Does he live with other witches?"

"He's gone."

It was Bella's turn to furrow her brow, "What do you mean gone? Is he…? Is he dead?"

Bella hadn't considered that the Cullens could have a _dead, human_ brother. A dead child, that was sad. Maybe she shouldn't have pushed so hard. How could an entire coven of vampires let their brother die? Unless, of course, one of them had killed him… Maybe it was an accident? No wonder they didn't want to talk about it.

Alice had inhaled sharply on the word 'dead' and rushed to deny it, "No! He _isn't_. He's just… God, Bella, why are you making me talk about this?"

Bella said nothing and waited for Alice to continue.

Alice seemed to be in pain as she spoke, "He's _missing_."

"Missing!" Bella exclaimed, "But how can you not _find_ him? You're vampires!"

Alice stood and stormed to Bella's door, "I think I've told you quite enough, Bella."

"Alice, wait! Just tell me-,"

" _No_ , Bella. That's all I'm going to say to you about this. Don't ask me again. Ever. I'm serious. This is done."

Bella stood and crossed her arms, she opened her mouth to protest further but Alice cut her off.

"You know, Bella, Rose was right about you. You really are a _bitch._ "

With that, Alice was gone.

Bella's mind was reeling with all the information she'd just gotten. There was an eighth Cullen. A _human._ So the Cullens didn't hate humans. She had a _chance._

 


	3. Chapter 3

 

 

When Alice stepped in to Cullen house she was surrounded by her family. Edward immediately made eye contact and scanned Alice's thoughts for information, looking to see how her conversation with Bella had gone. Edward's eyes widened and he gasped, "You _told_ her about him?"

" _What?_ " Rosalie's voice was deadly as she turned on Alice, they could all smell the venom pooling in her mouth.

Alice was in no mood. Since _he_ had disappeared none of the Cullens had been quite the same. Alice had lost much of her childlike attitude and innocence. As she spoke now, there was no trace of it, "I had to, Rosalie. She threatened to expose us."

The Cullens each made a noise of outrage and Rosalie hissed through clenched teeth, "I knew we should have torn that little bitch's throat out. How _dare_ she?"

"You're sure you can't see _anything_ from her, Alice? You don't know if she'd actually do it?" Said Esme, looking nervous.

"No, Esme. I can't. I'm sorry." Alice looked to her shoes as she said this, embarrassed that her gift of Sight was useless against the human girl.

"Alice, it isn't your fault. Edward can't read her mind either." Jasper rubbed Alice's shoulder as he spoke, sending soothing emotions her way.

"That's true," said Edward, "It's just silent."

"She probably just doesn't _have_ any thoughts, the twit," grumbled Rosalie, as she crossed her arms.

Emmett guffawed and wrapped his arm around Rosalie's shoulders, then said, "What did you tell her, Alice?"

"Nothing important. She told me that she 'knew' that he was a child who had lived with us and that he was a witch."

"She doesn't know anything about him," snarled Edward.

Alice cracked a small smile at this, "That's what I said, actually."

The Cullens were silent for a moment. Edward had crossed his arms and was leaning against a wall when he spoke, "You know, he would have absolutely hated being called a witch."

Chuckles filled the room. "Yes, he would have," said Carlisle, he was again looking towards _his_ room, "What else did you tell her, Alice?"

Alice sighed and sat on the back of the sofa before continuing, "Just that yes, he was a child who we had adopted and who had lived with us for twelve years. I told her that he studied magic. And that he was gone…"

Alice was quiet for a long moment, but the Cullens just waited for her to continue. In the past few years, Alice had begun doing this more often, silently gathering her thoughts for minutes before continuing.

"She… She asked me what I meant by gone. She asked me if- if he was dead."

Rosalie kicked a wall, creating a hole, "Of _course_ she did."

Alice continued, "I told her no. No, he isn't. I told her that he was missing. And then I left."

Carlisle hummed and nodded, "You did the right thing, Alice. We don't know what she could do with the information that she has. It would be beneficial if your gifts worked on her, but it doesn't seem possible. Did you tell her anything else about him?"

"No. I didn't tell her about his school or anything. Or that he could do _real_ magic," Alice smiled, proud of her brother, as she said this, "She asked me about seances and Devil worshipping, if you can believe it."

" _Ignorant_ cow," muttered Rosalie.

"Rosalie," chastised Carlisle, though he was smiling as he said it, "It's to our benefit that she is ignorant. Anything else at all, Alice?"

Alice shook her head resolutely, "No. I just told her to never ask about him again. And that Rose might kill her if she did." She grinned a bit a she said this, a bit of singsong coming back in to her voice.

Rosalie smiled with no humor.

The Cullens made themselves more comfortable now that their conversation about the human girl had ended. Alice rolled over the back of the couch and lay on her back. Jasper sat next to her and lifted her head on to his lap, "Are you alright?" He said, "I know it's not easy for any of us to talk about him."

Alice nodded and closed her eyes, "I'm okay. It's nice to think about him sometimes. I don't want to forget."

Jasper nodded in return and they sat in silence for a long while.

It was Jasper who interrupted the the quiet moment later on, "Where _is_ he?" He whispered, "Where could he be? And he's without his _wand…_? I just…"

Alice opened her eyes and looked at Jasper, "He's alive, Jasper. I know he is."

They heard a tearing sound across from the couch and saw Edward storming off upstairs, leaving five claw marks in the fabric of the armchair he'd been sitting in.

Alice sighed and said more to her-self than to Jasper, "He has to be okay. He has to be."

Jasper leaned his head back and stared at the ceiling for moment before closing his eyes. Alice was right; it was good to think about him, sometimes. He didn't want to forget either. He thought back to one of his most happy memories; when Harry had returned home for Christmas during his first year away. It was before everything had become complicated, before any of them had realized the danger that Harry was in in that world. Jasper put his mind at ease and allowed the memory to return, he'd been suppressing his thoughts about Harry for so long that it was a relief to remember how happy they had once been.

The first thing Jasper remembered was Harry's face when he had finally fallen out of their fireplace. He had been hours late, which worried them to no end. Hooking up on their fireplace to the International Floo Network had been an endeavor, especially for a group of vampires. Rosalie, in particular, was convinced it wouldn't work. When Harry tumbled face first out of the fireplace it did nothing to calm their worries. He had been covered in soot and Jasper and Edward had immediately rushed to pick him up. They'd all anxiously looked towards his face and when he raised his head with a cheeky grin firmly in place they'd all been relieved. His green eyes were sparkling with happiness as he embraced Edward first. It was always Edward first at that time.

The Cullens had been so excited to see Harry return that no one could speak for a moment. Harry finally broke the silence by looking at his watch, a gift from Alice the previous Christmas, he whistled and then said wryly, "It's getting pretty late, shouldn't you all be asleep?"

The vampires had laughed and embraced him. Emmett slapped him so hard on that back that a cloud of ash had erupted from his clothing.

They'd spent that Christmas enraptured with Harry's stories of Hogwarts. He talked about learning how to turn a match in to a needle. He talked about seeing a centaur in the forest. He talked about the friends he had made, other human children, other wizards and witches who understood him, who were so much like him. He told them about the eccentric headmaster who wore purple robes and tall, pointed hats covered in stars. He told them that one of his professors could turn in to a cat.

It was magical. It was _amazing._ Jasper had never thought that anything like it could really exist.

They had purchased beautiful gifts for Harry. They'd sent out for magical gifts in an attempt to make Harry feel more accepted as a wizard. They'd gotten him books about magical creatures, magical law, ancient wizarding traditions, quidditch. They'd gotten him exotic potions ingredients as well as a few sets of elegant robes. Alice was enthralled with the robes, they were made of fine, expensive fabrics and many were hand embroidered. They had spared no expense. They wanted Harry to feel like he _belonged_ in the Wizarding world.

It had been such a happy time.

Jasper tried to hang on to this memory, this specific one, but he found his mind wandering to the day after Christmas, the day that two owls had shown up at the Cullen house. The first to arrive was an exhausted old barn owl that had smacked in to one of the Cullen's windows while Harry had been eating his breakfast. Harry had run to the window to let the poor creature in and said "Eerol! What on Earth are you doing here?"

The owl had made a few shaking flaps of its wings before it collapsed on the kitchen table. Jasper had actually been sure that the bird would die, but it made a surprisingly fast recovery. Harry had carried the owl to the cage that the Cullens kept for Harry's own owl, Hedwig, and gave the bird a few reassuring words before the animal fell fast asleep.

"Bloody _hell_ , did they make that bird fly all the way from the UK?"

"Harry!" Carlisle had scolded, with his eyebrows raised, "Language."

"Yeah, Harry," Emmett had goaded, "Since when do you swear so _British?_ It's like I haven't taught you anything."

Harry had flushed and hastily opened his package. There was a letter attached that Harry read, grinning as he did. After he'd finished reading, Harry had torn in to the wrapped parcel and pulled out a lumpy, hideous sweater with a large "H" on the front. He grinned again as he yanked it over his head and started eating from a box of chocolates that had also been included.

" _Harry_ ," It was Esme's turn to chastise him, "Not for breakfast, really."

Harry had smiled guiltily, a bit of chocolate on his face and said, "Sorry, Esme."

Esme returned his smile, "That's alright, dear, one more won't hurt. Now, who is that from?"

Harry had put another piece of chocolate in to his mouth and waited until he swallowed to answer, "The Weasleys. Ron's mom made it for me."

"That was thoughtful. You should write a thank you letter."

Harry had nodded and began to pick up his things, "I will. Better wait a few days though, I don't think Eerol can handle a return trip."

The Cullen's heads had turned to look at the owl in question, who was now laying on the floor of the cage. Jasper was relieved that he could still hear its heart beating in its chest.

"You might have a point," Edward had looked up from the book he was skimming and was smiling at Harry as well, "Where you going?"

Harry had bundled his gifts in his arms, he glasses were skewed and his hair was more mussed than usual from pulling on the sweater, "Heading to my room for a bit. I'll be back out after I write a few letters."

Jasper recalled that Harry had stayed in his room for hours, but no one had bothered him, assuming he was getting schoolwork done. The Cullen's had decided to go hunting that night but Jasper had stayed behind to keep an eye on Harry. He'd been on the patio when he saw an owl fly to Harry's window. He'd looked on curiously. It was an elegant owl, strong and beautiful. Harry let it in and after only a few minutes the owl had flown off.

Harry finally showed himself an hour or so later. He'd stumbled out of his room, reading one of the books he'd been gifted when he looked around, "Hey, Jazz, where is everyone?"

"Out hunting."

"You didn't have to stay here to watch me," said Harry, rolling his eyes as he sat across from Jasper.

"I didn't," Jasper denied, though he was lying, "Just didn't feel like hunting."

" _Sure_ you didn't." Harry settled in to his favorite armchair, still reading.

"I saw you got an owl, who was it from?"

Jasper had asked this conversationally, assuming the owl had been from a friend, but Harry had frozen slightly and Jasper heard his heart jump.

Harry cleared his throat, "Ah, er, no one. Just Hogwarts, giving me some information about next term."

Jasper could tell he was lying, why would he lie? "Really. What kind of information?"

"Just about classes and stuff," Harry shrugged.

"Uh huh."

The others returned and Jasper let it go. Looking back, he realized that this was the moment that it had started. That Harry had begun lying to them, holding things back as to not worry them. Jasper didn't find out until years later that the package had been an invisibility cloak. Harry had been afraid to tell them about it, he was afraid they would upset that he'd been gifted something of his biological father's.

Later that night, Jasper had gone to Edward's room. Edward had been on his back with a large pair of headphones on when Jasper came in, but he heard him nonetheless and immediately sat up.

"What's going on?" Edward had asked, concerned, Jasper wouldn't usually come looking for Edward just to talk.

"Nothing," said Jasper, shaking his head, "I was just wondering…"

Edward waited for Jasper to continue, patient.

"I was wondering, can you still not read Harry's mind at all? Has it changed since he's been away?"

Edward was clearly surprised by this question but answered, "No… It's pretty much the same as it has always been; few words here or there, a sort of humming sound, or whispering. That kind of thing."

"Ah."

"It was the same with that professor from his school, so I think it's just all wizards and witches. It's a relief to know its normal, I was a little worried."

He had nodded at Edward, "Yes, that is a relief."

Edward stood, "Why do you ask?"

"No reason," Jasper knew that if he told Edward that Harry had lied he'd make himself sick trying to figure out why. So, he decided to ignore it. It couldn't be anything too bad, after all.

Jasper's returned to the present and pulled his mind away from thoughts of Harry. He delicately lifted Alice's head from his lap and leaned in to kiss her cheek.

"I'm going hunting," he'd whispered to her.

Alice had nodded, understanding that the needed time alone.

* * *

 

As Jasper hunted he tried to keep his mind off of Harry, but little things kept popping in to his head. Harry scraping his knee as a child and trying not to cry and how Jasper had been unable to help, instead having to run away from the boy as he called for Carlisle. Harry talking about how vile his potions professor was and how the man constantly compared Harry to his biological father, a man Harry had no memory of. When Harry had first flown for them, flying high, _too high,_ in to the sky and plummeting down at a terrifying speed. When he had seen Harry's patronus, a stag, and how Jasper had found it difficult to hunt deer ever since.

Unfortunately the only animal Jasper could track down was a doe. As he bit in to her neck another image flashed before his eyes.

Harry, at seventeen, the last time they'd seen him. A year before he'd gone missing. His brow had been furrowed and his eyes were shinning, but he shed no tears. He'd had dark purple bags under his eyes; the nightmares that he had been suffering from had been preventing him from sleep almost entirely.

He'd bowed his head as he said, "Goodbye." And a moment later with a _crack_ he had apparated away.

* * *

 

Edward had been bombarded with the other Cullen's thoughts of Harry for hours. He was handling himself pretty well, he thought, despite this. He'd decided to follow Jasper's lead and go hunting; he hoped that some distance would clear his mind. He didn't want to think about Harry. It was too painful. He could hear Jasper in the distance, a few miles off. He listened as Jasper sprinted and a moment later smelt the blood of a doe. In that second one of Jasper's thoughts reached Edward, it was Harry, as he'd last seen him.

He found himself frozen as the image of Harry's face focused in his mind. He remembered this day so clearly. It was the day he had pushed Harry, the day he had driven him away.

"Edward, _no._ " Harry had said, as he pushed Edward away, "I can't, please, don't ask this of me." Edward recalled that Harry had only been back in Astoria for a few days and that his British accent had been thick, thicker than it had been since he was a child and they had brought him to America.

He remembered that he had been desperate. He pressured Harry. He begged him. _Don't go. You don't have to. Stay with us. Please.  
_ "You don't have to be a part of that world. You can be one of us. You can stay with _us_. Forever."

As Edward said _forever_ Harry flinched, he shook his head violently, "No. I don't want that. I don't want-," he stopped suddenly and took a deep breath as Edward's eyes widened.

"What?" Edward had been near hysterical, so afraid of losing him, of Harry dying, "You don't mean that."

Harry's eyes flashed piercing green and he looked straight at Edward as he said, "I know what I mean. I don't want to be a vampire, Edward. I want to be a human. I want to live a human life."

Edward had felt his stomach heart sink and was frozen as Harry packed his things, he felt as if time had slowed down.

"I have to go." Harry only stayed long enough to say goodbye before he disappeared. It had been six years ago. Six years since he'd seen him. And it was his fault. Edward's family was miserable and _broken_ and it was all Edward's fault. If he hadn't tried to _force_ him then Harry might still be with them.

Edward started to run again and he didn't stop until the sun began to rise.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed. To anyone who has asked questions, everything will be answered in due time. I wouldn’t want to give anything away. I hope you enjoy this chapter.

 

 

"I can almost See him sometimes, you know."

When Alice said this, the room froze. Rosalie was in front of her in seconds, she looked in to Alice's eyes, searching for confirmation of what she had just said, "Alice, what do you mean? You mean _him_?"

"Mmm," Alice hummed with a far away look in her eyes, "Yes."

Rosalie turned back to look at Edward, hoping he understood.

Edward was still sitting across the room but his brow was furrowed, his eyes somewhat glazed as he tried to make sense of Alice's thoughts.

"But," Emmett was confused as he looked back and forth between Edward and Alice, "You mean you can _See_ him? Then- then we know he's okay! We can find him!"

The Cullens were quiet as they waited, hopeful, trying to stop themselves from becoming too excited. Their demeanor shifted when Alice shook her head, "No…" she said, "It's not quite like that…"

"What is it like then, Alice?" Rosalie was irritated as she spoke.

Though the Cullens of course knew that Alice wasn't physically able to cry for a moment it looked as though she were about to. Her eyes were distant; she didn't seem present as she spoke, "It's like… I don't sleep, obviously, but it feels almost like a waking dream. He's on the periphery of my vision. I can't see him but sometimes I can see his eyes. I can smell him for a moment. I can feel him running."

There was a full beat of tense silence before Carlisle spoke.

"Why didn't you tell us about this before, Alice?" His voice held no inflection as he spoke.

Alice seemed to come back to them at this, she blinked and look at Carlisle, taking a moment to understand what he had said, "Because, I wasn't sure. I thought maybe I was just imagining it. Or I was just convincing myself I could see him. I didn't want to get your hopes up… In case I was wrong."

Edward's eyes had regained focus but he still didn't seem to comprehend, "Do you think you were wrong?" His voice was low, almost a whisper.

Alice seemed distraught as she spoke and she shook her head hopelessly, "I don't know. I can't tell if it's real or not."

"But Alice," Jasper spoke next, "You've never been able to See anything from Harry." The other Cullens heads all turned sharply to Jasper when he said Harry's name. They were surprised. Jasper continued, "Why would that change now?"

Alice sighed heavily and said, "I don't know. That's why I thought it wasn't real."

"Then why tell us now?" Edward asked, voice still low.

She shrugged in response and said, "In case it is."

* * *

 

Carlisle went through his day at the hospital robotically. He was in the children's ward today, checking in on the most unfortunate: the terminally ill. Many of them were brave, if somewhat naive, in the face of what was happening them. They smiled and laughed and were sure they could live, that they would win. It wasn't until the end, the last month or so when they became so sick, that they started to understand that they wouldn't get better. They still fought, but you could see in their eyes that they knew it was hopeless.

Usually, this wasn't an issue for Carlisle; he had become a doctor for a reason. He wanted to help people and he was prepared for this hardship. However, after so much talk of Harry, of his child, his only _true_ child who he had raised and loved so dearly... Today, he saw Harry in all of their faces. He had this problem often, and he knew Esme did too. They both had mistaken children on the street for Harry. Carlisle knew that if Harry were okay he'd be twenty-three by now, but he still checked every little boy with a nest of dark hair and glasses, he couldn't help it.

It was even worse with the sick children, though Harry had never been anything but healthy. That is, if you discounted how undernourished he had been when they'd first adopted him. Carlisle had been sure to remedy that quickly, of course. No, these children in particular reminded Carlisle of Harry because of their attitude. Harry had been a bright and happy child before he went to Hogwarts but after that, slowly, he had dimmed. He became burdened with too much responsibility for a teenager. Eventually, they had put the weight of the world on his shoulders, quite literally. The nightmares that plagued him had made Carlisle's chest ache. Whenever Harry was home Carlisle would wait outside his door as he slept, listening for any sound of distress. He'd check on him constantly, so worried. He'd been _so_ worried.

When Carlisle looked in to the eyes of the children who knew they were going to die Carlisle found that he was looking in to Harry's eyes, the last time he'd seen them. He'd had that exact expression in them before he'd lowered his head and said goodbye. Today it was all Carlisle could see.

Carlisle entered a room and there was a little boy on the bed, facing away from the door. The boy looked almost nothing like Harry. This boy's hair was brown, not inky black, but it was messy, like Harry's had always been. As this boy turned his head Carlisle saw that he had a short nose, nothing like Harry's long, straight one. This boy's eyes were brown, Harry's had been large and bright green, the brightest eyes Carlisle had ever seen. There was something about him though, the hair, the slope of his shoulders… And suddenly Carlisle was back in that hospital room in the UK. When Harry, five years old at the time, had looked back at Carlisle in exactly the same way and Carlisle had loved him immediately.

His throat had gone dry and Carlisle turned on his heel. He left the hospital, briefly telling a nurse he was unwell, and suddenly he found himself in the woods. He downed a buck but he couldn't bring himself to drink from it.

* * *

 

Rosalie had found that in the last six years that she was having some difficulty controlling her rage. She watched as her family dealt with their grief, each one closing in on themselves, blaming themselves. But, Rosalie didn't blame herself. Rosalie knew that she had done everything, _everything_ , she could to save Harry, to make him happy, to make him feel loved.

And Rosalie _had_ loved him. She had loved him with all of her heart. Finally, she had thought, finally a child. It was what she had always wanted. Even though Harry wasn't really hers, he was Carlisle's more than anyone else's, but it didn't matter. The day that Carlisle had brought Harry home she had been appalled, horrified that Carlisle would do such a thing, that he would punish a child to such a terrible fate. Outwardly, she had felt that way, at least. She had told Carlisle that it was a ridiculous idea, she had told him that something would happen to him or one of them would make a mistake.

Internally, though, Rosalie was overjoyed. She found that she couldn't stop looking at the boy. He was perfect. He had the most beautiful eyes she'd ever seen, so green, and his skin was almost as pale as theirs. His hair was pitch black and had a way of sticking up at all angles. When it became clear that the Cullen family would be adopting Harry she decided that his protection was vital. She always watched him. She waited for him to trip or fall or break a bone, and every time he did she was there to catch him or to keep the others way. She would always keep him safe. It was her highest priority.

The three years that the Cullens spent in England after Harry's adoption were a time of adjustment. Harry had been _so_ polite, so silent and well behaved. If he injured himself he wouldn't cry, if he were hungry he wouldn't ask for food. The child had obviously been neglected by the relatives who had raised him, that much was clear by how thin and small the boy was, but the signs of abuse were there in all of his action; in his flinching, in his hesitation. The Cullens wanted to give the boy everything, but he seemed to be afraid of accepting it.

One day Rosalie had been watching Harry, he was six now, a full year after he had been adopted but he still hadn't come out of his shell. Rosalie was concerned about him and that concern turned in to fully fledged irritation when he heard the boy's stomach growl.

She was in front of him in seconds, looking down at the spot he had been sitting in with his hands neatly folded in his lap. There was a multitude of toys for him to play with but he hadn't touched them.

"Why don't you tell me when you're hungry? We have so much food."

Harry had stared up at her with wide eyes and was as still as a statue.

"Harry, you have to tell us when you're hungry and when you need something. That's why we're here! We want to take care of you!" Rosalie had raised her voice, she was almost yelling.

Rosalie was suddenly aware of how hard Harry's heart was beating in his tiny chest. He was close to hyperventilating. Rosalie suddenly dropped to her knees and put her arms on Harry's shoulders, "Harry, calm down, it's okay. I'm not going to hurt you."

Harry only continued to stare at her.

"I'm sorry," said Rosalie, "I didn't mean to scare you. I'm so sorry."

Harry blinked suddenly and lowered his head, "I-it's okay," his voice was hoarse and small, "It's my fault. I get scared too easily."

"No!" Rosalie protested, "You don't. Harry, I just got angry because I worry about you not eating enough or hurting yourself. You just have to tell one of us whenever you need something, _anything._ We all love you so much. No one will ever be angry with you."

Harry had wrapped his arms around his frame and didn't meet Rosalie's eyes as he spoke, "But… But what if you decide that you don't want me anymore, if I'm a burden?"

Rosalie was momentarily speechless.

Harry looked up to gauge her reaction and he looked panicked when she said nothing, "But don't worry! I'll do my best. I'll be good. I-I'll tell you when I need stuff, if that's what you want."

" _No,_ " said Rosalie, finally able to speak, "I mean, yes, please tell me if you ever want anything."

Harry nodded aggressively, "I will. I will."

"But," she pulled him closer, "Don't you ever think that you are a burden to us. We love you. We want you here. We want you to be happy. We will never, ever not want you."

Rosalie ran her hands through the boy's feather soft hair and then she stood, "Now, play with the toys. You _can_ touch them. They are yours, you know."

Harry watched Rosalie like a hawk as she crossed the room and opened a book. She pretended to read for endless minutes until, finally, Harry played.

She thought so often of that sweet child. She'd continued to watch him as he grew up. He was so independent. So smart and charming. He could do anything, she knew. He was so much like her.

It was someone's fault that he was gone. Rosalie knew that it was partially Edward's, that he had pushed Harry to become a vampire and scared him away. Rosalie had scoffed at the idea. She knew Harry; she saw much of herself in him. She knew that he didn't _want_ the life of a vampire. Harry wanted a full life, a real life. Rosalie knew that Harry had had many dealings with death and she knew this made him appreciate mortality, he saw it as a gift. Harry believed in an afterlife where everyone he had lost would be returned to him. If he were a vampire, he'd never have that. He couldn't risk it.

And he wanted a _family._ Harry would always have the Cullens, he knew that, but he wanted a human family. He wanted children and grandchildren.

The Cullens all knew this. Rosalie had told Harry on multiple occasions that this was not a life she would choose for herself. Carlisle had taught Harry how valuable human life was. Harry would never throw it away; he would never rid himself of his humanity, not willingly. The Cullens knew of the dark wizard, Voldemort, who had murdered Harry's parents. Harry had told them how the man's search for immorality, his fear of death, had lead him down an irredeemable road. He'd told them of the man's illness of soul, of his corruption. Harry, in part, saw immortality as a curse. He'd never _want_ it. Harry had wanted to grow up. He didn't want to be cursed, to be frozen forever in one shape.

But, still, it wasn't just Edward's fault. Harry _must_ have known that Edward would understand once he had calmed down. And, Harry didn't disappear until after the war. Not until after he'd won the final battle with Voldemort.

This had Rosalie stumped. She had reviewed Harry's timeline to no end. She had communicated with one of his friends, Hermione, and she had given him an in depth review of every moment of Harry's year before he disappeared. Hermione had told Rosalie about their search for precious objects, the dark wizard's key to immortality, she told them where they had traveled, and that they'd been in hiding. This part had come as a small relief to all of the Cullens, they knew now that Harry _couldn't_ have communicated with them, not that he didn't want to. Hermione had told Rosalie of the final battle and of Harry slaying Voldemort with a simple spell.

And that was it. Harry had been fine, according to Hermione. He was exhausted and distraught, but he was okay. He'd gone to rest in the hospital wing and he was not seen again. He was gone.

_Why?_

Rosalie couldn't understand. Why would he leave then, when he could have his family? When most of those held close had survived? Harry had the opportunity to finally live the life he'd always wanted. So, why would he leave? He wouldn't. Rosalie knew he wouldn't. Someone had forced him or taken him or hurt him. Rosalie wasn't so naïve as Alice. She wasn't so foolish as to believe that Harry was alive. It pained her deeply to think it, but Harry was dead, most likely. It was the only thing that made sense.

She still held out hope, deep down, that he was okay. Maybe he was still being held, a captive. But, it wasn't likely. She wasn't an idiot. She wasn't going to kid herself.

There was one thing that Rosalie knew for sure. Someone had taken her brother. Someone had hurt him. She still didn't know who, but she had nothing but time. She would find them and she would have her revenge. They would suffer for taking him away.

Rosalie cracked her knuckles and pulled her lip up in to a snarl.

Emmett looked at her, inquisitive, "What are you so happy about?"

"Nothing."

* * *

 

It was the middle of the night, around three in the morning. Edward was laying on his back in the meadow.

He'd stumbled on this meadow recently. It was beautiful and full of windflowers. Edward didn't share it with his family, though, instead he came here alone and closed his eyes and imagined that Harry was with him. He would have shown Harry the meadow and Harry would have loved it. It reminded Edward of him. It was bright and beautiful, even at night you could still see the colors of the flowers by light of the stars.

Edward could never quite understand his feelings for Harry. He'd loved him always. When Harry had been younger he'd just though that he'd loved him more than anyone else. As he had gotten older, however, Edward had realized that wasn't the case. He loved Harry differently. Edward liked to think that Harry had felt the same way. He'd let Edward kiss him, once.

It was the night he'd left. Harry had been upset and Edward could tell. He'd followed Harry in to his room and sat next to him. And for once, Harry had opened up. He'd told Edward that he felt that he had little hope of surviving this war. Edward had told him that of course he would, he had his family to keep him safe. But this didn't seem to comfort Harry.

Edward tried to reassure him further, "Harry, you don't have to go back. We can protect you."

Harry's head had shot up, "No, Edward, I do have to go back. I don't have a choice."

"No, you always have a choice. You can choose to stay with us."

"I can't leave behind my friends," Harry had said, quietly, "I can't abandon them, _everyone_ is _counting_ on me."

Edward had tried to protest. He'd tried to tell him that the adults, his professors, more experienced witches and wizards should take up that responsibility. He had told Harry that he didn't owe his life to anyone else. Then Harry had told him about the prophecy, and Edward had become scared. He didn't understand magic, not really, and he certainly didn't understand divination, but Harry was so sure about it. _Neither can live while the other survives_.

"There has to be something we can do. Alice's predictions are based on decisions. Maybe it only happens that way if you _decide_ to do it." Edward had bargained, desperate.

"No, Edward, it doesn't work like that. Prophecies, they… They become true, no matter what. You can try to take a different path but in the end, it will always be as predicted. It's fate. There's something else, too, something worse-,"

But Edward couldn't stomach anything worse. He'd leaned forward and pulled Harry in to a kiss. He saw Harry's eyes widen and then flutter closed, he heard Harry's heart beat faster, the blood running through his veins. Harry's lips were so soft, like the petals of a flower.

Something clicked in Edward, he stopped kissing Harry but he didn't pull away, " _Let me turn you_."

Harry did pull away, sharply, "What?"

Edward nodded, pulling Harry close again, "It's perfect, they can't hurt you if you're a vampire. They won't be able to get to you. You won't be so fragile. And- and if you're turned you won't be 'living' in the same way, maybe that will nullify the prophecy."

Harry was shaking his head, but Edward persisted, "You don't have to be a part of that world. You can stay with us. _Forever._ "

Edward had been so sure that that was the only way to make sure that Harry didn't die. That it was the only way to save him. He couldn't let Harry leave. He couldn't let him return to a world that would have him be a martyr. This would be better than death.

But, Harry didn't want it. Edward knew he wouldn't, it was a part of what he loved so much about Harry. Harry was human. He _wanted_ to be human. He'd always gotten along well with the other children at school. He'd made friends right away when he'd gone to Hogwarts. He loved people. He loved being alive. He loved to feel his heart race when he did something daring on a broom or watched horror movies with Emmett and Alice. He loved to feel the cold in the winter and the heat in the summer. Harry had always pitied his adopted siblings for not being able to _feel_ as much as he did. No, Harry wouldn't want to be a vampire.

And now Harry was gone. Edward had pushed, and Harry had left. The last "goodbye" was seared in to Edward's brain forever.

Edward stayed in the meadow, imagining Harry was there, for as long as he could.

* * *

 

Alice was staring out the window of her and Jasper's bedroom. She was alone. She had been watching the birds in the sky as they flew in patterns but she had become distracted. Suddenly, Harry's scent had been all around her, this was how her visions of Harry always started. A few moments later she had blinked and his eyes had flashed in front of her. She saw him again, but from behind, he was running.

Then, he was gone. Alice sighed, she continued to watch the birds.


	5. Chapter 5

 

 

It was February, the Cullens had been back at Forks High School for two months since their brief holiday break, and surprisingly, Bella had kept her distance. They were all relieved and hoped the girl would remain away. Alice, especially, expressed happiness that Bella seemed to be bonding with her human friends, to which Rosalie had rolled her eyes. Edward still caught Bella staring at him often, but other than that slight annoyance the girl seemed to be minding her own business. If the girl ever did make to approach them, Rosalie's death glare seemed to dissuade her.

The Cullens were content to go through the motions, for now, to spend their time working towards yet another high school diploma and to attempt to take pleasure in small things, such as books, music, and film. Rosalie was still stewing in her plot for revenge. Emmett was still trying to not think about it. Edward was still wallowing in his guilt. Jasper was still remembering. Esme and Carlisle were both just trying to get through each day. And Alice was trying to understand what her visions meant. So far, she had come up blank. She was starting to think she really was imagining them.

All in all, the Cullens were okay.

* * *

 

Bella, for her part, had _not_ moved on with her life, as the Cullen children seemed to believe. Bella had practically been vibrating with curiosity for the past two months. She'd used every resource available to her to attempt to figure out _anything_ about the Cullen's past and about the still mysterious Harry.

She sat with her human friends at lunch and listened to their _mundane_ problems, but her eyes were always on the Cullens. She'd taken to reading books on the occult and on vampires and other mythical creatures, but so far she hadn't found anything useful.

" _The Black Arts_? What are you reading this book for, Bella?" Mike asked while peering sideways to read the spine of book. He was smiling, clearly thinking it was a joke.

"She probably thinks she's a witch," muttered Lauren. Jessica snickered next to her and then turned back to continue her conversation with Angela, who was rolling her eyes at Lauren.

" _What_?" whispered Lauren to Angela, "She's a _freak."_

"Don't be so mean," Angela chastised back.

"Whatever."

Bella pretended not to hear the girls. She didn't _care_ what Lauren thought. Mike was still waiting for her answer, oblivious.

"Uh," she started, "It's just interesting, I guess."

"Huh!" Exclaimed Mike, "Weird! Or cool, I guess, if you're in to that kind of thing."

Tyler leaned across the table, "Yeah, Bella, I think it's cool. Want to have a séance some time?" He raised his eyebrows at her.

Mike hit him on the shoulder, hard.

Bella ignored the boys and continued to watch the Cullens. The bell rang and Bella went to her next class, biology with Edward. She entered the classroom and confidently approached Edward. She took the seat next to his. She saw Edward clench his hands on the table edge but otherwise he didn't acknowledge her.

Edward continued to stare straight ahead as the class began. As the teacher lectured, Bella found that she was too excited to pay attention. She'd been hoping that giving the Cullens space would make them warm up to her. She hadn't bothered them or pressured them for information, just like Alice had said. Soon, it would pay off. She hoped that sitting next to Edward would be a start to them forgiving her. She didn't know what they were so mad about. Her and Alice were _friends._ Alice should have told Bella that she had a brother who had gone missing. She didn't think that she had been prying. And maybe they should _lock_ the door to Harry's room if they really didn't want anyone going in there.

The Cullens would forgive her. She would fix her friendship with Alice. Edward would realize that she _was_ special _._

When class ended Bella turned to Edward, who was attempting to rush out of the room, she caught him just in time and said, "You know, Alice told me about your brother."

Edward froze.

Bella took this as a sign to continue, "I just want to say I'm sorry! I didn't know that was his room. I was just _curious_ , you see. I understand now, that he's missing and everything. Anyway, I just wanted to say I've been doing research and I could help you I'm sure. I have access to that kind of information, Charlie's the police chief, oh uh my dad Charlie I mean-"

" _Isabella_ ," hissed Edward, as he rounded on her, "Did you parents never teach you any manners?"

Bella's heart was racing, she was excited, now that Edward had all but pinned her to a locker.

Edward leaned in close to her, "Don't you know that things like that are _inappropriate_ to discuss? Especially in _public_?"

Bella's mouth fell open and she spoke a moment later, "Oh! You're right. I'm sorry!"

Edward remained close to her, snarling. Bella leaned forward, wondering if she should kiss him.

"Edward!" Alice's voice suddenly bellowed down the hall. Edward spared Bella one last growl before rushing to his sister and leaving the school.

Bella leaned back on the locker, her knees shaky. She was sure this was love.

* * *

 

"God, Edward!" Alice said when they got in to Edward's car.

"I know," replied Edward as he started the engine.

"You almost killed her! I _Saw_ it."

"I know," Edward pulled out of the driveway and started heading for the Cullen house.

"You have to control yourself," Alice insisted, "She shouldn't have approached you, but she's a _child_ , you're over a hundred years old."

"I _know._ "

"You could have exposed us all."

"Alice, I know," Edward continued driving, far too fast, "I'm sorry. I just couldn't help it. She is my _singer_ ," he said the word with disgust, "That on top of her asking me those questions… I just almost lost it."

" _Almost_ , please," Alice huffed, "You would have if it wasn't for me."

"Yeah, yeah," Edward rolled his eyes as he headed down the road to the Cullen house, "You're my hero and all that, blah blah."

Alice giggled and smacked Edward lightly on the back of his head.

Edward had a small smile on his face as he pulled in to the driveway, "Rosalie would have been furious that I hadn't let her do it."

"That's not funny, Edward." Alice said, smiling.

The entered the house and Esme appeared before them.

"What happened?" She asked, worried, "Why are you home early?"

"Nothing, Esme," Edward said, trying to calm her, "We should have called, we didn't mean to worry you."

"Edward almost killed Bella Swan." Alice said in her signature singsong voice as she made her way to the sofa.

" _What?_ " Esme rounded on Edward, who glared at Alice. Alice smirked back at him.

" _Almost_ is the key word, Esme," said Edward as he followed Alice to the living room.

"Well," Esme seemed displeased, "I can't say I blame you, but you are over a _hundred_ , Edward."

Edward groaned loudly as Alice laughed.

Rosalie and Emmett came home early as well, only a half hour after Alice and Edward had arrived.

"Oh, now what?" Esme had sighed.

Rosalie had a scowl on her face and she glared at Alice and Edward before she stomped up the stairs to her room.

Emmett laughed as she went and turned to the others, "Bella tried to talk to her in the hallway so she pretended to faint and the nurse had me take her home."

Esme sighed again, theatrically, and went to speak to Rosalie. Alice and Edward both were smiling as Emmett turned on his Xbox.

Yet another hour passed and Jasper entered the house.

He gave the others a dead panned look and then said, "Thanks a lot for leaving without me."

Alice jumped from her spot on the sofa and wrapped her arms around Jasper, "I'm sorry, Jasper! Did you have to run all the way home?"

"Yes," pouted Jasper, "I am _exhausted_." Alice hid her giggle and kissed Jasper on the cheek.

"I'm sure," she said, "Come rest, you poor sleepy vampire."

Jasper allowed himself to be dragged to the couch, smiling.

"Where'd y'all go?" Jasper asked, making himself comfortable.

"We had some issues with Isabella." Edward grumbled, not looking up from the book on his lap.

"Ah. Did Rose finally off her?"

"Don't talk about me like I'm not even here!" Rosalie yelled from upstairs. She was in the living room a split second later and pushed Emmett over to make room on the couch.

"Babe!" Emmett exclaimed, as the controller fell out of his hands.

"Oh, cry me a river."

"I _might_ ," muttered Emmett, as he continued playing.

They stayed like that for hours before Carlisle came home as well. They explained the issue of the human girl to him, but he didn't seem to have a solution.

Carlisle rubbed his temples as he spoke, "It seems like she's just being a nuisance. Until she does something that warrants retaliation you should all just ignore her. There's no point in getting your hands dirty unless you have to."

"And what if we _want_ to?" Rosalie grumbled.

Carlisle chuckled and placed a hand on Rosalie's shoulder, "Best to not give in to our urges, Rosalie."

* * *

 

Bella was starting to get frustrated. The Cullens were even _less_ responsive than they had been when she'd first tried to befriend them. Jacob Black was suddenly secretive with his information on the Cold Ones and he refused to talk about it. Jacob didn't seem to have time for Bella anymore either, which was infuriating. On top of that, she couldn't seem to find _any_ useful information on the Cullens or Harry.

It was time for her to pull out the big guns.

"Charlie," Bella said one Friday night in mid-February, "Are you going in to the station tomorrow?"

Charlie barely looked up from the basketball game he was watching as he answered, "Uh huh."

"Would you mind if I came with you?"

"Huh?" Charlie looked at her now, "What for?"

"Well, I was just thinking it might be nice to spend some time together." Bella tried to look innocent as she asked this, she didn't _like_ lying to Charlie, but it was her only option.

Charlie blinked at her for a minute before speaking, "Sure, Bella. I mean I probably won't have to be there too long. I just need to file some paper work. But, well, maybe you could come with me and then we could head to the diner for some lunch?"

Bella nodded enthusiastically, that should give her enough time, "Sure, thanks dad!"

Charlie smiled as Bella went up to her room. He wished she'd call him 'dad' more often.

* * *

 

The next day Bella and Charlie headed to the police station. There was a small staff working usually, but on a Saturday the whole building was deserted.

"Alright, I'm gonna head to my office for a bit. Do you want to wait here?"

"Sure," Bella replied, "I'll be fine."

"You won't be bored?" Charlie asked.

"Nope, I brought a book," said Bella, gesturing to her bag.

"Alright, well I shouldn't be too long," said Charlie as he made his way to his office.

Bella sat her bag down on a chair and waited until she heard Charlie's door closed before she made a mad dash to one of the computers.

This was it, the police _had_ to have some record of the Cullens or the missing Cullen child in their system.

She clicked on the option to search names, CULLEN, she typed.

There were lots of hits, too many to sort through.

 _Damn_ , she thought and she typed HARRY CULLEN.

Still, there were too many hits. She hesitated. She looked for a way to narrow her results. There was an option that toggled down. She selected MISSING PERSONS.

There! A hit, just one, from Oregon dated six years ago.

HARRY CULLEN. 17. LOCAL. DISAPPEARED OVER SEAS WHILE ATTENDING SCHOOL IN SCOTLAND. CIRCUMSTANCES UNKOWN. MAY RETURN TO AREA. BLACK HAIR. GREEN EYES. 5'10. 150 LBS.

There was a photo attached of a smiling young man, he was handsome, with a narrow face and a shock of messy hair. He had emerald green eyes that were hidden behind stylish frames. He looked like a Cullen, in a way. He seemed to have their confidence.

Bella looked behind her but didn't see any sign of Charlie. She printed the report, hoping it would be quick and quiet enough to escape Charlie's notice. When it was finished she shut down the computer and stuffed the still warm piece of paper in to her bag. She opened her book to a random page as Charlie walked out.

"Ready to go?"

"Uh huh," hummed Bella, trying to hide her heavy breathing.

They left the station and Bella couldn't help but feel victorious.

A week later, Bella still hadn't uncovered any new information about Harry. He was an enigma. She couldn't find any information about him online other than a write up in The Daily Astorian, the local newspaper of Astoria, Oregon, about his disappearance. But, the article barely had any more information then the police report did. All it said was that he was missing, he'd gone missing in Scotland, and the Cullen family asked that anyone with information come forward. The article also gave a very brief biography, saying that Harry had attended some elementary school in Astoria and spent summer and holidays there but went to boarding school overseas most of the year. They featured the same smiling photo as the police report.

Bella was having a difficult time at school. She'd spent the last week in a haze, trying to go over the facts in her head. How did this boy go missing? This _witch_? Maybe it was a spell gone wrong. Or maybe it was a _potions_ accident. She was sure that she had seen a book that said potions in that room. That might be dangerous… Or, and this was the big one, maybe vampires _had_ been involved, somehow. Did a rival coven kill Harry?

In her second period class Bella was asked twice if she was paying attention and once if she needed the nurse, but she paid her teacher no mind. She _had_ to figure this out.

Bella stumbled her way to her next class, running in to countless people. She bumped in to a small student wearing an enormous backpack and he tipped over from the sudden lack of equilibrium, but she didn't notice.

It was no use, she decided as the final bell rang. She didn't have enough to go on, and she felt that she had exhausted her resources. But she had to figure out _some_ way to get the Cullens to talk to her. She'd hoped she would be able to figure out what happened to Harry. Or at least provide them with a clue that cracked the case. If she could, then maybe they would be so grateful they would finally accept her. _Thank you, Bella,_ they would say, _thank you for giving us closure. We can move on now,_ and they'd let her take his place. She could be one of them.

It seemed, however, that that would be unlikely to happen. The Cullens still wouldn't give her the time of day, first of all. And second of all, she couldn't _find_ any new information. She'd have to figure out a way to use what she had. Maybe she could make it _seem_ like she knew more, maybe she could just insinuate… That might work.

Bella decided that she would confront the Cullens one more time.

She pulled her truck out of its parking place, still devising her plan. A group of teenagers jumped back as Bella nearly ran in to them.

"You're a menace!" One of them shouted, but Bella wasn't paying attention as she drove away.

* * *

 

"Come on, Edward! You know you want to play!"

Edward heaved a great sigh, irritated with Emmett's antics.

"Emmett, just let me practice my piano. Get Jasper to play your silly games with you."

Emmett took a seat on Edward's piano bench and wrapped his arm around his shoulders, "But Jasper is _terrible._ "

Edward shrugged Emmett's arm off and began playing Clair de Lune. Emmett nodded at Edward, cracked his knuckles, and started playing Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star on the other half of the piano. Edward pressed his hands down on the keys and turned to look at Emmett.

"What?" Said Emmett, "I thought that sounded pretty good."

Edward groaned and laid his head down on the keys.

"So," continued Emmett, "Looks like you're done playing piano. Hmmmmm… Should we go play video games?"

Edward hit Emmett on the arm, "How about we go for a hunt, instead?"

Emmett raised his eyebrows and said, "Only if we race."

"You're on."

The two had just stood up when they heard the doorbell ring.

"Damn." They heard Jasper say from the other room. Then, they smelled it. It was Bella. Edward and Emmett exchanged weary glances.

"Oh and what _exactly_ does she think she's doing here?" Rosalie snarled as they entered the foyer.

"You'd think that she would have gotten the message by now," said Emmett.

Carlisle appeared behind them and said, "Let me speak with her. Perhaps I can convince her to leave us be."

Carlisle opened the door and there was Bella. They were all silent for a few beats.

Bella finally spoke, "I just came by to formally apologize to all of you."

"Oh, _come on_ ," said Rosalie, not believing a word from the girl.

"No, please!" protested Bella, "Please, let me come in. I- I have some information that you might find… Interesting."

"Fine, then," said Carlisle, ushering her in, "If you must."

Carlisle ushered the others in to the dining room but did not make to sit. He turned around to look at Bella, "Now, Isabella, what is it that you must tell us."

Bella looked around nervously, "Uh," she said, "Should we sit?"

  
"No," Carlisle spoke decisively, "I think we're all perfectly comfortable standing."

"Oh, uh, okay then."

" _So_ , if you could just tell us whatever it is that you came here to say."

"Right, well, so I found out some information that might help you."

The Cullens surrounded Bella. They had all taken spots against the walls, leaving her to awkwardly stand in the center, next to the dining table. _Why do they even have a dining table?_ She thought, out of the blue.

"Is that so?" Jasper said, crossing his arms, "Then please, _inform_ us."

Bella was starting to feel unsure of her plan. Her nerves were making it almost impossible for her to speak and the Cullen's intimidation wasn't helping. _Why_ had she come here? That same fear that had bubbled up in her chest when Alice had first told her about Harry was rising in her again. They _were_ dangerous creatures. Maybe this hadn't been such a good idea.

"I, uh, well, so-," stuttered Bella, "So, I found, uh-,"

"Nothing!" Scoffed Rosalie, "She doesn't have anything! She just came her to _torment_ us." Rosalie approached Bella, dwarfing her, as she got closer. She looked down at Bella and said, "You really do have a lot of nerve, coming in to a house full of vampires that you threatened to expose."

"No! No!" Bella nearly shouted, panicked, "I would never really!"

"So you were just trying to intimidate Alice, is that it? To get information out of her about our _brother_?"

"N-no," said Bella, though with less assurance.

"What gives you the right?"

Bella was breathing quickly, the Cullens could all hear her heart racing.

 _That's good_ , thought Jasper, _Maybe we can scare her off for good._

Edward took a step towards Bella. Fast as lightening, he pulled a piece of paper out of her bag. Edward sneered and held it out for the others to see.

"Was this your big reveal?" He said with disdain, "You think we haven't seen this before? Who do you think gave this photo to the police?"

When Rosalie caught sight of the photo she had her hand around Bella's throat in seconds.

"More snooping, of course," she said as she lifted Bella on to her toes, just as she had before, "You just can't seem to help yourself."

Bella looked around the room and gasped, "Alice! Please!" But Alice just shook her head. Bella's eyes widened in fear and she began to struggle against Rosalie's steely grasp.

"What is it that you think? You think you want to be one of us? You want to give up your life? You are a _fool_."

Bella continued to gasp for air, her hands trying to pry Rosalie's away from her neck.

"Don't you understand how _lucky_ you are? I would do anything, _anything_ to be human again, to live a full life. How prideful are you to take that for granted?"

Bella's face was starting to turn blue.

Suddenly, Alice fell to her knees. Rosalie dropped Bella and the human fell to the ground as well, gasping.

"Alice?" Said Jasper, at her side.

Edward inhaled sharply and they turned to look at him. His eyes were glazed over and his brow was furrowed in confusion. Alice looked the same way.

Alice swiveled her head to look at the door.

Not a second later there was a knock. Alice stood swiftly and ran to the door. The other Cullens followed, leaving Bella alone to catch her breath.

Alice opened the door.

And, all at once, it was six years ago, and they were seeing Harry, at seventeen. His head was bowed exactly as they had last seen him, moments before he disappeared. But, this Harry didn't say goodbye and vanish. This Harry raised his head and he looked at them with eyes the color of red wine and he said, "Hello."


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed. It means a lot to get feedback and hear that you are enjoying this story. I’m sorry it’s taken me a while to update, I’m a university student and school has been challenging, but it’s nearly the summer now so I should be able to update more frequently.  
> To clarify, to anyone who has asked Harry is a vampire.  
> I hope you enjoy.

 

 

When the Cullens adopted Harry he was sure it was all just a wonderful dream. After all, why would people like them want someone like _him_? He spent months afraid that he would wake up and it would all be gone.

Harry adjusted eventually; he learned to accept that the Cullens weren't going anywhere, that they really _did_ want him for some reason. But, he could never shake the nagging feeling that he didn't belong with them. That he didn't fit in.

Sure, they were all outcasts. Even in the vampire community they were different. The Cullens were a large coven, for one, covens of their size usually had rotating members: vampires who would come and go, chosen couples who would stay with them for a time before moving on. But, the Cullen members were constant. They rarely allowed for new members and travelers were generally not welcome for extended stay. This was due in part, Harry knew, to the fact that the Cullens were "vegetarians" who refused to live off of human blood. They had little tolerance for vampires who chose a more common lifestyle.

Still, Harry never felt that he was a perfect fit. He was human, of course, and he certainly wasn't one of the humans who craved a vampiric life, like those poor souls who worked for the Volturi. Not only that, but Harry wasn't a regular human. He'd always known that, and he'd always been terrified that someone would _notice._

Then, he'd gotten his Hogwarts letter and everything had finally fallen in to place for him. He knew, then, who and what he was. Harry had lived his life up to that point afraid of his power. _Freak_ , he always heard in the back of his head, _don't let them see. Don't let them know. They won't want you anymore_.

But he _wasn't_ a freak. In the Wizarding world Harry was completely normal, average even. Except for the nasty bit of fame, anyway.

When Harry had first performed accidental magic in front of the Cullens he was sure that they would want nothing more to do with him.

Harry had been eight years old and the Cullens had just moved him to Astoria. It had been a little thing, he'd gotten angry because of something off-handed Emmett had said about the Dursleys, his horrible relatives who'd abandoned him, and a coffee mug had flown off of a table and shattered against a wall. The Cullen's had stared at the broken pieces dumbfounded before shrugging it off. But, Harry didn't move on so easily, he'd been so afraid in that moment that a mirror behind him had shattered.

He was losing control of his emotions, he couldn't reel them in. Harry sharply recalled the cupboard that the Dursley's had shut him in, the sting of a slap from his aunt or the ache of a bruise from his uncle's fist. _Freak._ A wind picked up around them and a lampshade was blown off of a lamp.

Harry was hyperventilating. _No,_ he'd thought, _no, I've ruined it. They're going to get rid of me_.

But, they didn't get rid of him.

Carlisle had been before him immediately, his hands on Harry's shoulders, looking at him with concerned eyes.

" _Harry_ ," he said, "Breathe. Breathe. What's happening? Are you doing this?" His voice was soothing, but Harry could tell that Carlisle was shocked by how wide his eyes had become.

Carlisle was taking unnecessary, deep breaths that Harry could follow along with. When he'd calmed enough to breath normally Carlisle's face became more serious, "Harry, you were causing that." He didn't say this as a question.

Harry looked around the room and saw all the Cullens looked at him with expressions of shock on their faces. He made a strangled sound and looked at the ground as he said, "I-I…Yes."

The was a beat of silence in which Harry's heart felt as though it would explode from his chest.

"I'm sorry!" He said, his head still bowed, "I-I won't do it again, I didn't mean to-,"

"Harry, _Harry_ ," Carlisle said soothingly, he reached his hand out to touch Harry's head but Harry flinched, making Carlisle pull his hand away, "It's okay. Look at me."

Harry raised his head slowly, afraid. The Cullens had certainly never hurt him before, but now that they knew what he was, a _freak_ , maybe they would.

Harry was immediately ashamed of these thoughts when you met Carlisle's kind eyes. There was no anger on his face. Carlisle touched his arm lightly, tentatively, and said, "Harry, have you ever done that before?"

Harry bit his lip and paused before reluctantly saying, "Yes."

Emmett let out a long whistle and Harry's eyes shot to him, concerned, but Emmett just smiled at him. Harry was still too upset to smile in return.

Carlisle spoke again, "We aren't angry at you. It's okay."

Harry's eyes were as big as saucers as he said, voice disbelieving, "Really?"

"Of course," said Carlisle, nodding his head, and rubbing his hand along Harry's arm comfortingly.

Harry drew in a shaky breath and looked down again, his voice was uneven as he whispered, "Y-you don't think I'm… I'm a _freak_?"

" _No_ ," the word decisively came from each of the Cullen's mouths. Harry's head shot up and a tear fell from his lashes and rolled down his cheek. Carlisle leaned forward and wiped the tear from his face. Harry didn't flinch this time.

Harry always remembered what Alice had said to him after. She hugged him and smiled and said, "I always knew you were special, Harry."

 _Special_. He'd thought, _I'm not a freak. I'm special._

Harry carried that thought with him for years after, repeating it to himself whenever he felt doubt, that and what Carlisle had told him.

"You have a gift."

When Harry would become frustrated at himself or feel ashamed of what he could do he'd think, _It's special. It's a gift. Be grateful._

The last part of his mantra he'd learned from the Cullens as well, especially Esme.

Harry's life had been hard before he met the Cullens. He'd been very unhappy with the Dursleys until they'd finally abandoned him at a hospital, he'd been five and they had pushed him out of the car without coming to a full stop. Harry had sat on the curb of the hospital, and watched as they sped off. He remained there until someone had rushed to him and covered him with a blanket.

Harry had been so afraid. The Durselys had finally left him and all of their threats were going to come true, he was sure of it. He'd have to go to the orphanage that Uncle Vernon always talked about, the horrible one where it's always cold and damp and no one gives you food. Uncle Vernon said they'd beat him there. That he'd starve to death.

Then, by chance, by pure luck, he'd met Carlisle. Harry remembered when he first saw him. He thought that Carlisle looked like an angel, or one of Dudley's superheroes. And, so it turned out, he _was_ a superhero. He _saved_ Harry.

Harry had been in awe of him ever since, of all the Cullens really. He was moved by their grace, their kindness. Every time he saw them a part of him wanted to fall to his knees and thank them. They'd been _so_ gracious.

Harry remembered what Esme had once said to him. He'd been little and curled in bed, the only light streamed in from a crack in the door. He recalled that he had said something to Esme about being jealous of his siblings, of their beauty and intelligence, he was sure he would never hold a candle to any of them. But, Esme had shushed him and began stroking his hair as she spoke.

"Oh Harry, be grateful. You have so much, more than any of us. You're _alive_. You're growing and changing all the time. You can feel the grass under your feet and the wind on your face. You can feel your heart beat," she kissed him on the forehead, "You can taste sweets. Your siblings, and Carlisle and I as well, we'll never feel things like you do again. We'll never feel as much as you do. Be _grateful_."

And he was grateful. _So_ grateful. No matter what happened to him he at least had that, his life, his humanity. He found comfort in his mortality. He knew that no matter whom he lost or what he went through, that he would eventually have peace, even if it were only in the afterlife.

He used to have that comfort, anyway. Now, Harry didn't know what to make of his life. He couldn't see a light at the end of his tunnel. He tried to be grateful. He was still alive, in a way, even though it was a half-life. _A cursed life,_ he'd think to himself. Cursed to remain the same. Cursed to never grow up or have a family. Cursed to kill.

Sometimes Harry wished that Voldemort had killed him.

When Harry closed his eyes he often saw Kings Cross, as it had been the second time he'd died, before he'd decided to come back. Harry would play that scene over and over in his head but this time he would change his mind. He would take the other train.

But, then Harry would open his eyes and he would be the same as he had been for five years. Nothing really changed anymore.

Harry also thought of his family, his real family, the Cullens. He missed them so much. When he thought of them a ball of guilt would materialize in his stomach. He could go to them, he knew, he could try to find them, but would they want him like this?

Harry wished that he could say that he would fit in perfectly with his family now, but he knew that that wasn't the case. He was still an outsider.

_Freak._

* * *

Bella stayed on the kitchen floor gasping for air for what felt like hours. Rosalie really _had_ almost killed her, and no one even cared. Edward had _mocked_ her. Even Alice hadn't tried to stop it.

As she stood up Bella was wondering if it really _was_ a bad idea to spend her time with vampires.

She walked to the living room, legs shaking, and peered around the corner. The Cullens were all at the front door, she remembered that there had been a knock, but she couldn't see who was there. Bella eyed the Cullens and decided to take a few steps closer. They were speaking, but too quietly for Bella to hear.

Suddenly, she saw Esme move forward, her arms were wrapped around a stiff figure. A boy, it looked like. The boy seemed frozen in place for a beat before raising a shaky hand and wrapping it tentatively around Esme's back. Esme clutched the boy for a few long moments before pushing him back and looking at him from arms length.

Bella could finally see him. The boy was about Edward's height, maybe a bit shorter, with a shock of messy black hair and pale skin. He was handsome, very handsome. Bella was thinking that he was a bit _too_ good looking when she noticed his eyes.

They were deep red.

This boy was a vampire. Bella realized this a split second before she heard one of the Cullens say, "Harry!"

No. Way. He looked so _different_ without his green eyes or glasses.

Bella found herself completely frozen as she continued to gape at the boy. He was rigid, holding his back straight and his hands clenched in to fists. The boy, Harry, _this_ was Harry, wasn't making eye contact with any of the Cullens. Bella could hear a few scattered words from them, questions it sounded like, starting with _how_ or _why_ or _where._

Harry didn't seem to want to answer their questions. He continued to look down until Carlisle's hand darted forward and caught his chin. Carlisle raised the boy's head up but Harry still didn't meet his eyes.

" _Harry_ ," said Carlisle, his voice still low, his eyes wide. Harry blinked and his eyes darted to him. Carlisle winced, Bella assumed at their color.

"Harry," he said again, still staring at Harry in shock, he seemed momentarily speechless. When he spoke again his voice was more even, "How did this happen?"

Harry stared at Carlisle and bit his lip, his brow was furrowed, and he didn't seem to know how to continue. Harry inhaled a deep breath and opened his mouth to speak.

And suddenly Harry was staring right at Bella.

Bella felt like a frightened rabbit while she remained frozen in place. Her heart was racing. Harry's eyes narrowed and in a flash he was in front of her. He was only a few inches away. Bella backed herself against a wall and Harry's arm extended. He laid his palm against the wall, beside her head. He regarded her with something like disinterest on his face.

A chill of fear ran down Bella's spine.

This boy was _not_ what Bella had been expecting.

The Harry that Bella had researched and seen photos of looked sweet and good hearted, with his round wire framed glasses, enormous eyes, and disheveled hair. That boy had given the camera a shy, crooked smile.

This boy did not seem sweet. This Harry had the same face, but it was more sculpted, his cheekbones slightly higher and his chin more defined. His hair was windswept, but it looked more devil-may-care than just rolled out of bed. Without the glasses his eyes seemed even larger, but now they were the same shade as the red wine Bella's mother liked to drink.

Harry's face was cold as he stared at Bella. His eyes narrowed again and he spoke, "Who are you?"

He had a British accent, Bella realized with a blink. That was a surprise. Harry raised an eyebrow at her and made an exasperated gesture.

"I-Is-Isabella," said Bella, she felt somewhat foolish a moment later for saying her full name.

Harry made a humming noise and said in a low voice, " _Molto bella_ ," he reached forward and ran a hand down her cheek. Bella felt her heart skip a beat and she saw Harry smirk.

" _Harry_ ," Edward said, his voice full of disbelief.

Harry sneered and turned to look at Edward, but he didn't pull away from Bella, as he spoke, "It didn't take you too long to replace me, did it?"

"No, no it's not-,"

Harry guffawed and wrapped his hand around Bella's throat, just as Rosalie had done. Bella whimpered.

"Do you just like to keep one around to torture yourselves?" mused Harry, "She does smell good, doesn't she? I don't know how you can resist it… Like it's so _easy_. Is this what it was like with me?"

"Harry," said Carlisle, commanding, "Get away from Isabella. She should really be going."

Harry's fingers tightened around Bella's throat and for a moment she was sure that she was about to be killed. Then Harry made a regretful sound and released her. Bella gasped and rubbed her throat. When she looked up Harry was ten or so feet from her, his arms were crossed and he was staring at the floor. Bella watched a Rosalie approached him. She said something to him that Bella couldn't hear and Harry nodded. Rosalie embraced him so hard she was sure that if he were human he'd have a few broken ribs.

Jasper appeared before her, blocking her view, "Goodbye Bella," he said flatly.

Bella's eyes bulged and she said, "But-!"

" _Goodbye_ Bella."

Bella huffed a bit and said, "Fine," she made to head toward the door and Jasper followed her. She caught a glimpse of Edward touching Harry's hair almost reverently, as if he were checking to make sure that Harry was real.

As the door closed she heard Harry's voice, where it had been expressionless before it now sounded mournful, "I'm _sorry_."

And, then, Bella was staring at the front door.

She drove home feeling shellshocked and exhausted, but when she laid in bed she found that she couldn't sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

 

 

Carlisle could only stare.

He was _here._ He was _alive._ But, he wasn't alive.

Carlisle could hear his children berating Harry with questions, but he found he couldn't voice any of his own. All he could do was gape at the boy before him. It _was_ Harry, that was obvious, but it also, in a way, _wasn't_ Harry. This boy sat with his back perfectly straight, where the Harry he knew would slouch. This boy clenched his hands together and eyed his own knees where Harry would have been comfortable. This boy refused to look at his family where Harry would have smiled openly and indulged them.

And, most of all, this boy had blood red eyes. This boy was a vampire, but not only that this boy was no vegetarian. He had the same face that Harry had had when he'd disappeared, it varied only slightly, but this _was_ Harry at seventeen. And so, if Carlisle were to believe that this was Harry than he'd also have to believe that Harry had been a vampire for the last five years.

Harry had been turned five years ago, but he hadn't sought them out. Carlisle stared at those red eyes, which was painful because every time Harry lifted his head Carlisle expected to see dazzling green. Harry was staring back at him now; Carlisle found that he couldn't break eye contact. Harry's brow furrowed and his lips moved. It took a few more beats before Carlisle realized that Harry was speaking to him.

"Carlisle?"

Carlisle blinked at him and paused again before he responded, "Yes?"

Harry worried his bottom lip before speaking, "Carlisle, I'm sorry, I- I just-," he broke off and shook his head. He sighed and buried his face in his hands.

Carlisle wanted to comfort him but he found that he couldn't. He was too distracted with Harry's eyes, and the implication that went with them. This was no longer his innocent son. This boy was a killer. That much had been clear when Carlisle had observed Harry's interaction with Isabella. He'd been too shocked to move, he thought the rest of his family was in a similar position, and they'd all watched with their mouths agape as Harry acted every inch the predator.

In that moment, Carlisle had felt that same ache in his chest as he had when he'd found out that Harry had disappeared. He had that same feeling of disassociation. _No_ , he thought, _this can't be true_. _Not Harry_.

Carlisle had dealt with similar problems from his other children, that much were true, but Harry was _different_. Secretly, Carlisle had always imagined that if the circumstances ever led to Harry being turned that Harry would be different from the rest. On some level, he'd believed that Harry would still be _human_ , as much as one could be, that he would find the transition painless and feel no craving for human blood.

It felt like a slap in the face to see that private hopes dashed before him. Carlisle's world was crumbling around him; every slight chance that he had imagined of Harry being alive and okay was suddenly gone. The reality of this situation was slowly dawning on him.

He focused again on Harry's face. Harry seemed to sense this and raised his head from his hands, his brows were knit together and Carlisle was sharply reminded of Harry as a child. He didn't look so different, after all. As Carlisle observed him, he came to a decision. It didn't matter. Harry was his _son_ , no matter what. He could _fix_ this. It wasn't his fault that he'd stayed away, it was the monster that now lived in him. Harry could be saved. He was sure of it.

He reached his arm out and laid his hand on Harry's shoulder. Harry's eyes darted to him, Carlisle could see hope in them.

Carlisle rubbed his arm lightly as he spoke, "It's okay, son. We'll figure this out. Don't worry."

* * *

"We'll figure this out."

That promise hung heavy in the air around Harry.

Harry suddenly felt like a small child again, hiding his magic from the Cullens out of fear of losing them. They had found him out eventually, back then, and miraculously they had accepted him. This time, though, Harry was sure that wouldn't be the case. For Harry wasn't a little boy anymore, he wasn't an innocent… No, they couldn't find out the truth.

They wouldn't.

* * *

Jasper watched Harry and Carlisle's interaction with what would have been bated breath, if he breathed.

Yes, he had seen Harry with Bella, he'd seen Harry's red eyes, but he didn't care. Jasper had been the same way, once. No, Jasper only cared that Harry was _here_. Alive, in a way, with the same face and hair… The only difference was his eyes, but Jasper paid them no mind. That didn't _matter,_ he told himself. They had all been young vampires once. They had all made mistakes.

His brother was _alive_. Not in a shallow grave somewhere cold and dark, alone. That was all that mattered.

When Carlisle gave Harry his blessing Jasper felt relief flood him, so much that the others perked up, he'd accidentally push the emotion on to them as well.

Harry was staring at him with his head tilted, regarding Jasper through a slightly furrowed brow. Another emotion filled Jasper, love, and he made sure that Harry felt it.

Harry's eyes widened and he blinked, confused. Jasper smiled at him.

Harry smiled back.

His brother was home.

The spell was broken a moment later by Carlisle placing a hand on Harry's shoulder, causing Harry to flinch. Jasper was acutely reminded of Harry flinching in that same way when he'd first come to live with them. He hadn't seen Harry react like that since he'd been seven years old.

The other Cullens noticed as well, there was a tense pause before Harry cleared his throat.

"Sorry," he said, shaking his head, "It's just er… It's just been a long time."

Jasper could feel anxiety rolling off of Harry in waves, anxiety and fear. What was he afraid of? Surely he knew none of the Cullens would _ever_ hurt him?

Carlisle nodded and reached for Harry again, this time rubbing his shoulders with a comforting hand. Jasper noticed the minute wince on Carlisle's face at, what he assumed was, the coolness of Harry's skin and felt the sharp stab of pain in Carlisle's chest. Carlisle was taking this hard.

Jasper quickly scanned the other's emotions. Carlisle was mournful but Jasper could feel a spark of hope in him as well, thankfully. Esme was in shock, as was Emmett, but he could feel relief from them, the same relief he himself had felt.

Edward was in awe and he was staring at Harry as though he were the sun, returned to him after years of night. But, Edward had always loved Harry, _really_ loved him, that much Jasper had known from the start.

Rosalie was furious. She'd always been the most protective over Harry. Jasper was sure she was plotting her revenge on whoever had done this to their brother at this very moment.

Jasper turned his head towards Alice and she met his eyes immediately. He could feel her worry. He reached for her hand and smiled at her, gently squeezing her hand as if to say _it's going to be okay_. She smiled slightly in return.

* * *

"Harry, love," said Carlisle, placing a hand on his cheek, "How did this come to be? Where have you _been_?"

Harry shook his head, uncomfortable at the endearment. He seemed unsure how to continue.

At his hesitation Carlisle spoke again, "Please, we aren't angry with you. Just tell us what happened."

Harry heaved a sigh and slouched forward. He paused for a long moment before speaking, "Nothing. It was just… Just an accident."

"An _accident_?"

Rosalie's voice rang through the room as clear as a bell. She stood and was in front of Harry in moments, "An _accident?_ " She said, icy cold, "You _accidentally_ were turned? You _accidentally_ didn't tell us or anyone else where you were? You _accidentally_ -,"

" _Enough_ ," said Carlisle, with authority, "Rosalie, sit down. Let Harry speak."

Rosalie did not sit down. She spoke again, to Harry, "Where have you _been_? What happened to you? How could you not come find us _sooner_? We stayed in Astoria for years after you were gone! You could have found us!"

"Rose…" Harry's voice was pleading, "I'm sorry. I just couldn't."

"That's not good enough!" Rosalie's voice cracked, as she spoke, "Why couldn't you?"

"Because-!" Harry started loudly before cutting himself off and saying hoarsely, "Because I… I can't control myself." Harry bowed his head, shamed.

The room was silent, even Rosalie had taken a step back, her rage forgotten.

"It's so difficult. I-," he let out a humorless chuckle, "I'm not really cut out for being a vampire. I'm not strong enough. I-I… I can't handle it."

"You can." Carlisle said resolutely, "It just takes time. Rosalie, for God's sake sit down."

Rosalie huffed at Carlisle and turned back to look at Harry, she ran her hands through his hair a bit roughly and said, "You owe us answers, little brother. No control? That's no reason not to come home." She gave him a meaningful look and stormed back to her seat next to Emmett.

Harry lowered his eyes to the floor in response, saying nothing.

"Now, Harry," continued Carlisle, his voice soothing, "Please, can you explain what happened to you? We only want to understand."

"Right," Harry cleared his throat again, "Well, I was turned, obviously… It happened after the battle at Hogwarts erm-," Harry cut himself off, rubbing his temples, he didn't meet any of the Cullen's eyes as he spoke, "I was jumped, from behind. Didn't see who bit me. Next thing I know is pain, as I'm sure you all understand… When I came to, I was somewhere… I didn't know where and I didn't wait to find out."

Harry paused again, running a hand through his hair, "So I took off. I hid… And I just kept hiding."

The Cullens were silent for a long moment.

Edward spoke first, "For five _years_?"

Harry hummed in agreement but still wouldn't look at Edward, "I was er… Overwhelmed. I couldn't resist the lure of human blood. I wasn't myself, for a long time… I'm still not really…"

The Cullens could all hear the sound of Harry fiddling with his fingernails as he continued to stare at his hands.

"Harry," said Carlisle, voice low, "You can tell us anything, you know that. We all know what you're going through. We've dealt with it ourselves."

"Of course," Harry spoke quickly, he suddenly stood up, "I- I might like to rest for a time. Do you have a spare room here that I could use? I'm sorry. I'm so, _so,_ sorry, for everything. It's just a bit much, all at once like this."

Edward stood at the same speed and was looking at Harry wearily. Harry smiled crookedly at him and said, "I'm not going to go anywhere. Don't worry."

Before anyone else could speak Alice stepped forward, she grabbed Harry's hand and pulled him along as she spoke, "When you left we kept all of your things, we knew you'd come back, so…" She grinned at him as she opened the door to the room, to _Harry's_ room, his room. The other Cullens had followed them and we're now standing behind him. Alice continued to grin at him as Harry became stock-still. Any trace of a smile fell from his lips. He didn't move.

Alice's grin faltered as she said, "You can go in… They're your things, after all."

Harry made no move to enter the room. He continued to stare.

The Cullens waited, unsure of what to say.

Finally, Harry stepped in to the room. He ran a hand along the bed. When he reached the bedside table he lifted his wand with a shaking hand. Harry examined it, seemingly entranced. Abruptly, he slammed in back on to the table, making Alice jump.

"Erm," said Harry, looking uncomfortable, "You know, I might prefer a different room for now… If you have a spare that would be great or…" He trailed off, his eyes looking anywhere but at his own belongings.

Esme was the first to reply, "Oh! Yes, dear, of course. If you like, we have a spare room upstairs. That can be yours for now."

"Perfect," said Harry, still speaking far too fast, clearly eager to get out of the room.

Harry hastily left the room and closed the door a bit harder than was necessary.

* * *

Jasper sat in the living room surrounded by his family. Harry had retreated upstairs nearly a half hour ago, apparently "resting," though they all knew vampires needed no rest. They'd been sitting in a somewhat stunned silence for that time.

Jasper didn't know what to do. He was sure that Harry was lying. He didn't know what about, he didn't know why, but he knew that he was. He had a suspicion that the other Cullens thought so as well. Harry no longer had a heartbeat that Jasper could easily read, but he had other tells; his refusal to meet their eyes, the tap of his fingers, his touchiness. Most of all, however, Jasper could tell by Harry's emotions.

When Carlisle had asked Harry about the past five years and Rosalie had confronted him, Harry's emotions had been guilty and as he answered their questions he had felt distressingly anxious.

Harry was _back_ and he was hiding something.

Edward made eye contact with Jasper briefly and then nodded, "He's lying."

Jasper nodded in return.

None of the other Cullens seemed surprised.

"Do you think he can hear us?" Said Emmett, glancing up the stairs.

"I wouldn't think so," replied Esme, "The rooms are soundproofed, after all."

"What _happened_ to him? A vampire, I can't _believe_ it," said Edward, voice full of distress.

Carlisle shook his head in response with his eyebrows knit together, "Can you read his mind at all, Edward? And Alice, can you see anything from him?"

"I can read it a bit more clearly than before, but it's still gibberish," said Edward, "Just whispers, non-sensical phrases, scattered words… I can't make anything from it."

Alice bit her lip and looked off in to the distance for a moment before speaking, "I don't know… I can sort of sense something from him, but nothing is clear…"

Carlisle sighed and looked at Jasper, "How is his emotional state?"

Jasper sighed as well. He hadn't been looking forward to this, "Not good. He's anxious and guilt ridden. And… Well, when he went in to his room I got nothing from him for a few seconds, like a black hole, then all the sudden he just felt wretched."

Carlisle adopted a serious expression as he continued to question Jasper, "These emotions, they lead you to believe that he's lying?"

Rosalie scoffed, "He's _obviously_ lying. He's hiding something, or protecting someone."

"Oh, from what?" Emmett said, rolling his eyes, "It's not like we're going to kill anyone."

Rosalie glared daggers at him, "No? You don't want to kill the vampire that did this to him?"

Emmett didn't respond

"I can't believe he's back," said Edward, voice no more than a murmur, "I keep thinking that if I blink he'll disappear."

Alice smiled, in spite of everything, and said, "He's _alive_."

Jasper lovingly ran a hand through her hair, "Looks like your visions were right."

Alice continued to smile.

"But," Jasper continued, "He's definitely lying. I can tell by how he's feeling, his responses to things… He's hiding something."

"Honestly," said Emmett, "I don't give a rat's ass what he's done or what he's hiding, so long as he's back here where he belongs. I'm just happy he's safe."

"Me too," said Esme, looking as though she'd like to cry.

Carlisle took his wife's hand before he spoke, "I am as well, but if we want him to adjust we have to know what he's been through. He can't move on until he's dealt with his demons."

Carlisle raised Esme's hand to his lips and kissed it, "For now, we'll wait. We'll speak to him in the morning. I trust you'd all like to stay home from school tomorrow?"

The teenaged Cullens nodded thankfully. Carlisle smiled again, "Perhaps in the fall Harry will attend with you," Carlisle winked at Edward as he said, "Make it an even six."

Edward's eyes widened and Jasper nearly laughed at the embarrassment coming from his brother, if Edward could blush, he certainly would have.

* * *

Harry lay on his back in the spare room. It was sparse, the only furniture was an elegant sofa and a bookshelf with more than enough on it to keep Harry occupied for a few weeks at least.

He liked this room. He much preferred it to the _tomb_ downstairs.

Entering that room had been like stepping back in time. Even the letters and notes that he'd left behind on his desk were still in place. The book he'd been reading was still flipped open to the same page and laid on his bed, just as he'd left it. Being in there made him feel suffocated, as if he were underwater.

After everything that had happened, here were his things, everything that had mattered to him five years ago, waiting for him, just as his family had been. Still, he couldn't stop seeing the shock in their faces, the sorrow, and the _disappointment_.

Harry felt the urge to sob and wished he had the ability.

Harry could hear faint footsteps outside the door. He heard the weight of a body sit in the hallway. Edward, he was sure.

 _I'm sorry, Edward_.

Harry reached down the front of his shirt and pulled out a chain that was wrapped around his neck. At the end was a small ring inset with an emerald stone. He clutched it in his hand as he closed his eyes.


	8. Chapter 8

 

 

The Cullens were gathered in the kitchen the next morning. Harry had stayed in the spare room all night and they were anxiously waiting for him to emerge.

"You think he's ever coming out?" said Emmett, who was leaning against a cupboard with his arms crossed.

"Hard to say," replied Alice, who was sitting on a counter top across from him, kicking her feet.

Edward had been pacing back and forth for the better part of an hour.

Rosalie growled, "Edward, _please_ , you're making me dizzy." Edward shot her a withering glare in response.

Esme, Carlisle, and Jasper were seated at the kitchen table. Carlisle was staring pointedly out the window, speaking to no one, as Esme clutched his hand with a grip strong enough to break a human's bones. Jasper was tapping his fingers in a steady rhythm and glancing up the stairway in the direction of the spare bedroom every few minutes.

"What if he left?" said Emmett in a low, anxious voice.

Edward stopped pacing and looked at him sharply, "He said he wouldn't."

Rosalie scoffed loudly and pushed away from the wall that she had been leaning on, "And he's _so_ trustworthy!"

Edward took a step towards her, "I trust him. He's our _brother_."

"Why should you trust him? He's been lying to us for years!" She seemed to lose a bit of her steam as she looked at Edward's desperate expression. She continued in a lower tone, "We don't even know who he is anymore."

"Harry!" Alice suddenly exclaimed.

The other Cullens looked toward the stairs and saw Harry at the bottom of them, leaning against a bannister.

Edward blinked at him owlishly before speaking, "I didn't hear you come down."

Harry shot them a smile that was more like a grimace and looked down as he spoke, "Er, yeah, I'm a bit quieter than I used to be, I suppose." He looked through his lashes at Rosalie who was looking at her fingernails somewhat awkwardly.

He cleared his throat before saying, "I'm sorry about last night." He looked towards his family to gauge their reactions and found each of them staring at him intently. Harry bit his bottom lip, uncomfortable, and continued, "I- I was tired. Exhausted really, it wasn't easy getting here."

"Tired?" Said Carlisle, who had stood up from the table and walked towards Harry slowly, as if he were approaching a wild animal, "You don't sleep anymore."

Harry made a humming noise, "Well, I have a lot to explain to you. Might as well start there."

The Cullens each looked confused, turning to each other with furrowed brows. Harry continued, while gesturing to the living room, "Should we go sit?"

* * *

A few moments later the Cullens were gathered around Harry, who was seated in the armchair that had once been his favorite. He belatedly wondered where the large scratch marks on it had come from.

After an awkward beat of silence Harry finally spoke, "Do any of you know anything about what happens to a wizard when they get bitten by a vampire?"

Each of the family members shook their head. Carlisle spoke for the group, "No… I had assumed it would be the same."

Harry gave him a tight-lipped smile, "It's not. First of all, you have to understand the fundamental difference between muggles and magic folk: the magical core. Wizards and witches have one, muggles don't, and because of this our bodies are capable of holding magic and accessing it from the Earth. Some of us have stronger cores, so that we can store larger pools of magic, making us more magically powerful."

Harry paused.

"I don't really want to delve in to magical theory, so I'll just explain it as simply as I can… Vampirism isn't compatible with magic. When a witch or a wizard is bitten the venom attacks the magical core, thinking that it's a flaw that needs to be destroyed. If the wizard is weak magically then the core will be eliminated and they'll turn in to a regular vampire, no longer with any magic. If they're strong, though, then their magic fights back." Harry smiled at this, looking oddly proud.

"This is a very painful process, much more painful than a regular transition, if you can believe it. It's a part of the reason that you don't meet many wizarding vampires, why you've never heard of us Carlisle," Carlisle nodded at this, wincing slightly when Harry said 'us.' Harry continued, "Most wizards and witches die."

At this, Alice gasped, staring at Harry with wide eyes.

Harry didn't seem to notice, "The effect of the fight between magic and venom is too devastating to their bodies. They can't recover. If by some miracle you are able to survive, then the venom eventually over powers much of the magic, and the person turns, but it's a bit different. Your body has resisted some of the change along with your magic. Depending on how hard you fought, parts of you remain human. It varies of course; some magical vampires can still bruise or bleed. Some, oddly, still grow fingernails or hair. Some need to breath. Some are warm. It's sort of random. There are some consistencies, however."

He stopped again, looking at his family to see how they were handling all of this information. They were enraptured with his story, their eyes fixated on Harry.

"Go on," said Jasper.

Harry nodded, "It's actually kind of funny, in a way, a lot of the lore about vampires that muggles know is much more similar to magical vampires than muggle ones. Generally, we're not as physically strong or fast. Our senses can be slightly less keen. For most of us, our blood doesn't flow, so we're cold, but our skin is much less strong. We can be cut." Harry suddenly pulled a pocketknife from his jacket and opened it.

The Cullens each made sounds of protest as Harry slid the knife down his forearm, a large wound opened up and Carlisle was in front of Harry in less than a second. Carlisle kneeled before him and grabbed Harry's arm urgently. The gash was gaping and red flesh was revealed but blood didn't flow from it.

Carlisle froze and watched in fascination as Harry's skin began to knit itself back together. He looked up Harry questioningly.

A smile played across Harry's lips, it didn't reach his eyes, "But we heal very quickly."

Carlisle ran a hand down Harry's fully healed arm, unable to notice any flaw. He returned to his seat on the sofa and held Esme's hand tightly.

"What else?" said Rosalie, her tone was calm, but her anxiety was visible in the way she pursed her lips.

"Well," said Harry, "The sun. We don't react the same way to it. We don't usually sparkle the way that a muggle vampire would. It hurts, just like the old cliché says. I won't burst in to flame or anything, but it burns my skin rapidly, it's really very painful. I take a potion to manage it, so I can go in the sun if I'm able to get a hold of any. And, we sleep. Not much, just a few hours at a time, but we do need it.

"Other than that, everything else is bollocks. Like garlic, stakes. Oh, except that we _can_ turn in to bats."

The Cullens stared blankly at him.

"…What?" Said Emmett, dumbly.

Harry grinned, "Just kidding. Sorry, trying to lighten the mood."

Jasper let out a loud, guffawing laugh and the others joined in after a moment.

Emmett clapped Harry on the back, "You got me good!"

"But, Harry," said Carlisle, looking reluctant to return to this topic at hand, "What does all this mean for your magic? Is it…Gone?" He spoke the last word in as gentle a tone as he could manage, not wanting to upset Harry.

Any trace of a smile fell off of Harry's face and he bit his bottom lip before speaking, "No… No, it's not gone. For some of us, there's only a small amount of magic left. Like the gifts that some of you have, some of our magic remains and we're still able to do something that we were gifted at as humans. We don't need wands anymore because the venom usually strips away a layer of containment on our cores. So, it's easier for us to access it, but we aren't able to hold as much. Some magical vampires are able to use levitation, or conjure things, or transfigure objects. Some are still able to apparate. Little acts of magic like that."

Harry didn't look as though he wanted to continue.

Edward spoke, "So, if your magic isn't gone, then what can you do?"

"I… Wasn't quite as lucky. I was a bit of an anomaly, of course, what else is new? For some reason, the venom attacked my core slightly differently. My containment abilities were stripped, but my magical reserves didn't shrink. I can still somehow hold just as much magic in my core…"

"But that's great!" exclaimed Alice, "You still have all of your magic, that's wonderful!"

Harry shook his head, "It would be, if I were able to contain it, which I can't. It overflows around me and I can't stop it. I can't channel it. A wand is totally useless. My magic… It's _volatile_. It reacts dangerously to any of my emotions; if I'm angry my magic might slit someone's throat, if I'm happy it might suffocate them. I have no control over it."

Harry's voice had gotten steadily more frustrated as he spoke and he buried his head in his hands. He heaved a sigh and said, "I don't know what to do. I can't even _use_ it, really. I can't cast any spells, it just reacts to my will and my thoughts… It's _dangerous._ Unnatural."

_Freakish._

The word was left unsaid but the Cullens could tell that that is what Harry meant.

"No, Harry," Edward immediately cut in, "It's _not_. It's a _gift_ , just like all of your other talents, it's-,"

Harry cut him off, "No," he said forcefully, " _No_. It isn't a gift. It's a curse."

The room was momentarily silent before Carlisle spoke, his voice slightly unsure, "But surely there is a way for you to learn to control it. Just like when you were learning to control your magic the first time."

Harry shook his head, "No. That's not a skill I can learn. I can't keep it contained and channel it through my wand anymore, there's no way to control it. It's just… A part of me now."

Rosalie spoke up, "That still doesn't explain why stayed away from us for five years, Harry."

"It's a part of the reason," said Harry, eyeing Rosalie nervously, "I was worried that I would hurt you. I thought I'd try to gain control before I came back."

" _Bullshit_."

Harry opened his mouth to respond but Rosalie stopped him, " _No_ ," she said, "I don't want to hear any more lies from you, little brother. We are your _family_. We've never abandoned you. How could you abandon us?"

Harry bowed his head and spoke with his eyes squeezed shut, "I'm here now."

Rosalie slammed her fist against the coffee table, it's legs broke off and it hit the floor, "That's not _good enough_." She charged towards him and stopped short of tackling him. She kneeled before him with her arms on either side of his legs. She looked Harry squarely in the eyes as she spoke, "I thought you were _dead_. I thought that if you were okay that no force on Earth would stop you from finding us. I didn't think you would put us through this if you had a choice."

Harry's lips twisted in to a scowl and his eyes went cold as he said bitterly, "Well, I guess I'm not the person you thought I was."

Rosalie's eyes flashed angrily and she raised a hand to smack him, but Emmett grabbed her wrist a split second before she could.

" _No_ , Rose," he said sternly, "We're not like _them_." It was clear to all of the Cullens that by 'them' he meant the Dursleys.

Rosalie was shocked in to silence by the comparison and shot Harry an apologetic look, though she couldn't bring herself to say anything as she returned to her spot next to Emmett on the loveseat.

Another tense silence followed only to be broken by Harry saying in a low tone, "I'm not a child anymore, you know. You don't have to coddle me."

Esme reached a hand towards him and held his forearm as she said, "You'll always be our child."

A panicked look crossed Harry's face and he dropped his gaze towards his feet, "Right," he said, his voice emotionless.

The Cullens were confused by his response, looking towards each other for any indication that the others had understood. Carlisle continued on, undeterred, "Harry, if what you told us is true, that you've been in hiding, that you haven't been in contact with other vampires, then how can you know what you know? How can you be so sure of your own powers? How can you know so much about magical vampires?"

Harry froze for a few beats before speaking, his voice still cold, "I never said that I wasn't in contact with other vampires. I- I didn't lie."

"But-," said Edward, his face distraught.

Harry cut him off, "Look," he said, " _Please_ , can you all just let it go for now? _Please_?"

"Let it _go_?" said Rosalie, voice disbelieving, "How could we-!"

"Fine," said Edward, "If you'll stay."

"But-!"

Carlisle ignored Rosalie's rebuttal as he spoke, "Okay, Harry. If that's what you need for now, I'm inclined to agree with Edward."

Harry's head shot up and his eyes lit up with hope.

" _But_ ," Carlisle said, authoritative, "You have to agree to my conditions."

Harry nodded wearily in response.

Carlisle nodded back, "You will stay here, with us. You won't leave this house unless you're with one of us, not until I'm sure it's safe."

Harry voiced his uncertainty, "I won't be in any danger."

Carlisle shook his head sadly, "That's not what I'm worried about. If you're going to stay here you'll have to feed like us. Human blood is not an option."

Though Harry had expected this, his chest still clenched at the thought, "I don't know if I can, Carlisle…"

Carlisle's voice was resolute, as he spoke, "You don't have a choice. If you can't abide by this, then you'll have to go. You can't stay here, not as a killer."

"Carlisle!" hissed Edward, his voice desperate.

"No," said Carlisle, "This is not a discussion. Harry, you are my _son_. I want you here more than anything in the world. We won't pry in to your past until you're ready to tell us. We won't push you, but you have to follow my rules. You must do as I say."

The Cullens watched Harry fixedly in strained silence as he mulled over the proposal.

Finally, he sighed and said, "I'll try."

Carlisle smiled at him, his face flooding with relief. He moved towards Harry and pulled him out of the armchair. He embraced him, clutching him tightly, and then pulled away and held Harry at arm's length.

"My boy," he said, " _Alive_."

"Kind of," said Harry, voice cracking, looking shell shocked.

Carlisle shook his head firmly, gazing at Harry unwaveringly, his eyes full of affection, "You're alive," he said, "You're still my son. I'm so happy that you're okay. I'm so overjoyed that you've come back to us. My family, whole again."

A sound close to a whimper left Harry's throat. He spoke in little more than a whisper, "I'm _sorry_ , Dad."

Carlisle's grip on Harry's shoulders tightened and he pulled him in to another embrace, "Shush," he said, "Everything will be alright. I promise."

* * *

Harry sat on a bannister of the balcony of the Cullen house, his feet dangling off the edges. The sun was setting, casting deep purple light across the sky.

Harry sighed and lit a cigarette. He'd developed a taste for them since he'd been turned. They tended to curb his hunger and calm him, and since becoming immortal they posed no threat to his health.

He watched the sun move behind the horizon and could see stars beginning to appear.

Harry took a long drag and pulled the chain from beneath his shirt. He stared at the emerald ring in his palm reverently. He sometimes thought that he'd like to wear it, but it was much too small to fit on any of his fingers.

Harry held the ring tightly as he looked up towards the Big Dipper.

He would make this work. He had to.


	9. Chapter 9

Being back in with his family was a challenge in many ways for Harry. The greatest of all was that he had to live off of animal blood, though he was ashamed to admit it. Much like his family, he himself had believed that he was made of stronger stuff, so to speak. He didn’t think he would succumb so _easily_ to the draw of human blood, he hadn’t believed he would be so weak willed. Weaker than any of the other Cullens, the craving driving him near mad, while his siblings seemed to handle their urges so gracefully.

Hunting had been a difficult endeavor. Aside from the fact that his family had not so subtly knit themselves in a circle around him, each one never more than ten feet from him on all sides, he could _smell_ the humans. The longer he went without human blood, the harder he found it to resist. Harry took no joy in killing, he hated, _loathed_ , what he had become, but he couldn't stop himself. It was in his nature, after all, just as a man must kill an animal to sustain himself a vampire must do the same. To live off of animal blood, it was _unnatural_. Harry hadn’t realized that fact in all the years he’d lived with the Cullens.

As a human, he’d believed that his family’s choice to live off of the blood of animals was the clear one. He had a hard time understanding why other vampires chose to drink from _people_ , to _murder,_ he’d assumed that they must be monsters, that they must have no soul and feel no remorse.

This was not the case. The life of a vampire was so very different than the life of a human. Harry realized after he’d been turned, when he’d finally come out of the hazy blood lust that had consumed him for months on end. He had come to understand that the weariness that other vampires treated the Cullens with did not come from respect, but was born of unease. To be able to live off of animals… It made others uneasy. Something about it was vile, against their very nature. It was taboo, even. 

As Harry drained a buck, under the watchful eyes of his siblings, he had nearly gagged. The blood tasted _heinous_. How his family could live like this, for so _long_ , was astonishing. Yes, once he’d gotten enough of it down it did the trick. The clawing hunger that put his every sense on edge subsided slightly, but it was still _there_. The hunger was quelled, but only slightly, enough that he could get by. Not satisfied, as it was immediately after he’d drained a human in the past. The moment the blood of a human hit his pallet his entire being felt relief, the manic, clenching hunger finally, _finally_ , sated, even if it was only for a short time.

 While the Cullens marched Harry home, Edward rubbing comforting circles on his back as the rest of his family watching him nervously, Harry wondered if this is what it felt like to be an addict. To go through each day robotically, to ignore the aching craving in the pit of your stomach, to never have the one thing that you truly desire? Was it this hard for the others? How could they _stand_ it?

Harry understood why so many addicts fell off the wagon. He could imagine no greater relief 

Harry parted from his family when they reached the Cullen house and made his way up to the spare room. He laid himself down on the floor in the center of the room, the coolness of the hardwood against his spine relaxed him, and he took a deep, albeit unnecessary breath and closed his eyes.

Harry dreamt.

 

            _He was running and breathing heavily, he stumbled and fell over a tree root. He lifted himself up quickly and continued sprinting. As he ran he could feel warm blood flowing from a wound on his forehead, he wiped his eyes to try to see through it but the wound kept flowing, blocking his sight. The woods were dark; he could only see the vague outline of trees in front of him._

_He kept running. He had to. Otherwise it would catch him. He couldn't let it._

_As he continued to stumble over rocks and through heavy brush, blood flowed from his forehead to his mouth. He gagged. The taste was awful._

_“Harry!” he heard someone call. It was_ him _._

            No, _thought Harry,_ No, please no. _He tried to spit the blood from his mouth but the taste lingered._

_“Harry, stop!”_

_Harry ran faster, moving wildly on shaking legs, he could feel his heart hammering in his chest._

_“Harry, please! I love you!”_

_Harry tripped, landing painfully on the forest floor. He sobbed raggedly as the world lurched around him. The taste of his own rancid blood got the better of him and he vomited. He continued to gag, there was something stuck in his throat. He coughed and sputtered, trying to dislodge it. He couldn’t breath._

_After a final, painful retch, it came loose. Harry opened his eyes, wiping away tears and vital fluid. He saw that his vomit was comprised of thick, gelatinous blood and in the center was an emerald ring._

_He tried to cry out but no sound left him. His voice was gone. He heard a scuttling sound behind him and turned to look. He breathed out a sigh of relief. It was a rabbit._

_The rabbit turned his head towards Harry and Harry saw that it had a human face. He stretched out a hand and grabbed the creature._

_He ran his tongue over his sharp, canine teeth and bit in to the rabbit’s neck._

_As the fluid hit his throat, relief flooded him. The itching, constant hunger finally subsided._

 

Harry awoke suddenly, eyes snapping open in terror. The first thing that he became aware of was the hunger, permanently curled in his gut. The second was a knocking at the door.

“Harry?”

It was Jasper. He knocked again tentatively.

Harry cleared his throat, “Come in,” he said, hoping his voice didn’t trembled.

Jasper opened the door and leaned in the frame, surveying Harry from head to toe.

“Are you alright?” he said, “I… I could sense that you were feeling… Something bad.”

Harry shook his head, trying to smile, but grimacing instead, “Fine, just- just a nightmare. Nothing serious.”

There was a pause as Jasper deliberated. He seemed to come to a decision and stepped in to the room, closing the door behind him.

"Do you want to talk about it?” As Jasper spoke, a sense of calm rolled over Harry like fog.

Harry knew that Jasper was manipulating his emotions, but he found that the didn't mind, “No… I’d rather not, really.”

Jasper smiled, somewhat sadly, and stepped towards Harry. He bent down and ruffled his hair, “It gets easier, little brother. Really, it does.”

Harry closed his eyes and felt Jasper kiss the top of his head. He heard the door open again, then close.

He was alone.

Harry banged the back of his head against the bedroom wall and crossed his legs.

His family was so kind, so _good_ , and he was such a wreck. Maybe Jasper was right. Maybe he could do this… Maybe it would get easier. As if on cue the craving in his stomach suddenly spiked. Harry clenched a fist and slammed it against the bookshelf. His fingernails left half moon shaped cuts in his palm.

Harry looked down at his hand, watching the four incisions heal.

“Freak,” he muttered to himself, “ _Monster_.”

Harry ran his hands through his hair, tugging hard. He wished he could go to his family for comfort. He wished he could tell them everything, as he once would have. He wished that they would understand, that they would protect him.

Contrition washed over him. Rosalie was right; he should have come to them sooner. The second he was able. Maybe it really was like she had said; perhaps they _didn’t_ know him anymore. Maybe he was someone else now, a stranger.

He remembered the last time he had gone to them for comfort and protection. Before he’d been warned off of doing so, before he realized the danger he put them in. After the Triwizard Tournament, when he’d returned from the graveyard in Little Hangleton with Cedric Diggory’s body in tow. Mad-Eye Moody had dragged him away and questioned him, and later Dumbledore and the professors had shown up and revealed the man’s true identity.

The memory of that night was forever seared in to his mind. It came back easily now…

 

 _Harry was staring at Barty Crouch Jr in shock. He watched the bound man sag in the conjured ropes as Dumbledore barked out orders to McGonagall and Snape. Suddenly, the emotional weight of his ordeal washed over him like an abrupt wave in an otherwise calm sea. He found that he was having difficulty breathing as panic gripped his chest and a guilty, desperate feeling of misery lodged itself in his throat._

_Harry buried his head in his hands and a sound left his mouth that was halfway between a moan and a whimper. The professors turned sharply toward the noise and their eyes fell on Harry as his fingers gripped his hair with shaking hands._

_“Potter…” Harry heard McGonagall say, he noted absently that she sounded concerned but he couldn’t bring himself to raise his eyes to meet hers._

_Harry heard the whipping sound of a cloak and then another voice, cold and stern, spoke, “We do not have time for such displays, Potter-,” and a hand gripped his shoulder. Harry flinched harshly away from the touch and made a sound of distress, immediately raising his hands to cover his face, anticipating a blow. His uncle’s purple face flashed before his eyes, ‘Ungrateful freak!’ his giant fist slamming in to Harry’s eye._

_The hand gripping his shoulder recoiled as if burned and Harry heard the voice speak again, this time with surprise, “Potter…”_

_Snape, Harry realized, and a burning shame coiled in Harry’s stomach. His face flushed in embarrassment, the red of his cheeks standing out strongly against his ashen face as he raised his head from his hands. He squeezed his eyes shut and spoke in a tight voice, “Sorry. Please, don’t touch me.”_

_When Harry opened his eyes Snape was watching him with a furrowed brow. His eyes wandered to McGonagall who was staring with wide eyes, her lips pressed in to a firm line. Finally, he saw Dumbldore, whose expression was completely blank, no sign of good humor visible in his ancient face._

_Harry kept his eyes on Dumbledore and pulled in a shaky breath before saying, “I want to go home,” his voice shook and cracked on the last word._

_Dumbledore’s face softened minutely and he blinked once, twice, and said, “Of course, Harry, I understand, but please come with me, I need you to tell me-,”_

_“Then I can go home? If I tell you what happened?” Harry breathed deeply, trying to even his voice, he felt tears welling in his eyes._

_Dumbledore paused briefly and cleared his throat, “Harry, it might be best-,”_

_“I want to see my family,” Harry interrupted again, desperate for Dumbledore to understand._

_Dumbledore nodded gravely, “Yes, and you will, my boy, but you’re injured, the hospital wing is the best place for you to heal.”_

_Harry shook his head, his eyes wild, the panic in his chest making him feel as though his heart may explode, he could hear it pounding in his ears, “No, no my Dad’s a doctor, he can take care of me…”_

_Dumbledore looked toward the prone figure of Barty Crouch Jr, an emotion similar to impatience flashed across his face briefly before he said, “Harry, if we could go to my office we will discuss-,”_

_“Please,” said Harry, his voice cracking again, a tear managed to escape from his eye, “I just want to see my parents.”_

_“For Merlin’s sake, Albus,” said McGonagall, “Let the poor boy go home, look at him...”_

_Dumbledore’s gaze didn’t leave Harry’s face as he spoke, “Severus, as I said, fetch Madame Pomfrey. Minerva, please stand guard while I take Harry upstairs.”_

_Snape shot a final glance towards Harry before sweeping from the room and McGonagall hesitantly stepped closer to Crouch. Though she seemed shaken, her wand was quite steady as she pointed it towards the Death Eater._

_Dumbledore helped Harry stand and said in a low voice, “Come along, Harry. Sirius is in my office.”_

_Harry’s head swung to stare at the Headmaster and his voice was full of emotion as he said, “I don’t want to see Sirius. I want you to call my fucking family. Please.”_

_Dumbledore sighed heavily and forced Harry towards the door as he said, “Fine, my boy, we will firecall your family.”_

_Harry sagged in relief and allowed Dumbledore to half carry him through the castle and up the winding staircase to the Headmaster’s office. Dumbledore pushed open the door and Sirius was standing there. His head shot up as the door opened and in a swift moment he was in front of them._

_“Harry, are you all right? I knew it- I knew something like this- what happened?”_

_Harry’s injuries started to ache and he hissed as Sirius’s shaking hands helped him in to a seat. Sirius spoke more urgently, “What happened?”_

_Harry could only half listen as Dumbledore recounted the events that had lead up to the third task, to Cedric Diggory’s murder, and to Voldemort’s resurrection. When it came time for Harry to recount his experience in the graveyard, he did so quickly and without feeling. He allowed every detail to pour from his mouth while trying to ignore the aching pain in his leg and arm. He wanted his parents. He wanted his siblings. He wanted to feel safe, after all that had happened._

_Sirius was white as a sheet. He seemed transfixed by the cut on Harry’s forearm. It was long, extending almost from wrist to elbow, and the moment Sirius had heard that Peter Pettigrew had caused it he seemed unable to look away._

_Dumbledore broke in to a speech, giving Harry great praise for his bravery, but Harry was having trouble understanding his words over the buzzing in his ears. His pounding headache was only made worse by the dull ache of his scar._

_“Harry, please come with my to the hospital wing. I can see that you are unwell. We can contact your adopted family tomorrow. Tonight, a Sleeping Potion, and some peace…”_

_Harry’s eyes shot open. He hadn’t realized that he had closed them, “No! Please, I can't. I need to see my family. Headmaster, you said, you promised. Please, call them.”_

_Sirius was looking at Harry with sympathy, but Harry didn't care. He didn’t think that he could stand to sleep in the cold hospital wing alone. Cedric’s body probably a few beds over covered by a sheet… No, he wanted to go home._

_There was no twinkle in Dumbledore’s eye as he nodded his consent. He approached the fireplace and grabbed a small handful of Floo Powder. As he tossed the powder in to the flames Harry heard him mutter, “Cullen Nest!” and saw Sirius’s brow furrow at the name._

_Esme’s face suddenly appeared in the flames and Harry felt his heart clench at the sight. “Harry?” she said, her voice full of worry._

_“Mrs. Cullen,” greeted Dumbledore._

_“Headmaster,” she replied, surprise coloring her voice, “What’s going on? Is Harry alright?”_

_Dumbledore paused. Harry had a fleeting thought that this must be the most difficult part of working at a school that’s been a central figure in multiple wars, passing on bad news to parents. Dumbledore cleared his throat, “There’s been a bit of an incident.”_

_Esme’s eyes widened to the size of saucers, she spoke as if someone had a hand clenched around her esophagus, “What’s happened? Is he okay? Oh God-,”_

_Harry had started to make his way toward the fireplace as soon as he had seen her stiff face in the flickering flames, his bad leg causing him to nearly collapse as he sat down in her line of sight, “Esme,” he said._

_“Harry. Jesus. Are you all right? What’s wrong? What happened? I can’t see you clearly, are you hurt?”_

_“Esme, it’s okay. I’m okay. Is- is Carlisle home? Or anyone else?” Harry hoped that Carlisle would be able to reason with Dumbledore, as well as treat his injuries, we wasn’t sure that his siblings could handle the smell of his blood if he came through the Floo._

_“No, darling. Carlisle is at the hospital and the others are at school. I'm the only one here. Please, tell me what’s wrong.”_

_“Right,” Harry felt the word catch in his throat and he coughed, trying to hide the crack in his voice and the tears welling in his eyes, “I’d forgotten the time, I should have realized-,”_

_Esme’s head had pushed forward as if she were trying to force her way through the flames to reach him, “What is going on? Harry, you don’t seem well. Tell me, are you hurt?”_

_Harry opened him mouth to reply before closing it again. He inhaled shakily and breathed out the word, “Yes.”_

_Esme’s eyes flashed with fear and her words were urgent, “I’m calling Carlisle. Stay right where you are, sweetheart. Don’t let them take anywhere.”_

_“Mrs. Cullen, I assure you-,” started Dumbledore, but Esme cut him off with a deathly glare._

_A phone was pressed to Esme’s ear as she spoke, “Don’t you dare close this connection,” she warned, her eyes on Dumbledore, “Or I swear- Yes, this is Esme, Doctor Cullen’s wife. Please, can I speak to Carlisle? It’s an emergency.”_

_Harry kept his eyes on Esme’s face as she waited, finding the sight of her immensely comforting. Dumbledore had stood from his crouched position in front of the flames and was standing stiffly behind Harry. Sirius was watching the interaction with fascination, some of his previous stress forgotten for now, as he saw Harry’s adopted Mother for the first time._

_“Carlisle!” Esme said loudly, she kept her eyes on Harry as she spoke but she dropped her voice to a level too low for any human to hear._

_“-Yes, of course,” she hung the phone up and smiled tightly at Harry, “He’s coming. He’ll be here any minute. Don’t worry about anything. Your father will take care of you.”_

_Harry nodded and bowed his head, “Thanks, Mom,” his voice was becoming hoarse from overuse._

_Worry could be seen in every line of Esme’s face as she extended a hand towards him, as if to yank him through the flames, before dropping it from view._

 _“Harry,” said Sirius as he stood from his chair, “You should get off the floor, you look so pale.”_

_Harry shook his head, “No, it’s okay.”_

_“Harry-,”_

_“I’m fine, really.” Harry adjusted his position so that he was sitting with his good leg underneath himself and his injured one stretched out in front of him. Harry was reminded of the giant spider that has caused his injury, how it had pierced his leg with it’s pincers and hoisted him high in to the air before he’d been able to break free, and how he’d landed painfully on the same leg. Had that really all happened earlier that same day? Harry eyed his ankle critically, noting that his foot seemed to be pointing a bit to the right. He clutched his damaged arm to his chest. He was feeling rather light headed and wondered if he was still bleeding._

_Harry squeezed his eyes closed and focused on breathing deeply while Esme watched him intently._

_“Harry.”_

_“Carlisle!” said Harry, once again snapping his eyes open. Carlisle’s head was staring at him from the fireplace with eyes as cold as ice._

_“Are you okay?”_

_“Y-yes,” said Harry._

_“Where is the professor? Dumbledore, who we've spoken to before?”_

_Dumbledore bent down so that Carlisle could see him, “I am here, Doctor Cullen.”_

_The strength of Carlisle’s glare could have cut through steel as he spoke to the Headmaster, “Professor. How do I come through?”_

_“Doctor Cullen, that’s not neces-,”_

_“I will not allow my son to suffer for a moment longer, tell me how to get through.”_

_Dumbledore’s half moon spectacles were pushed up as he pinched the bridge of his nose, “Of course, Doctor Cullen,” he said, and then explained how to use the Floo._

_Carlisle followed Dumbledore’s instructions and a moment later stepped out of the flames and in to the Headmaster’s office, he had a small amount of soot in his golden hair but otherwise looked better than most who travel by Floo. He was no sooner in the office than he was kneeling in front of Harry. He cupped the back of Harry’s head delicately as he placed his other hand across Harry’s forehead to check for fever._

_“Bloody buggering fuck,” exclaimed Sirius, drawing his wand. Carlisle didn’t acknowledge the man as he continued to check Harry’s vital signs._

_“Let me see your arm, love,” said Carlisle, gripping Harry’s shoulder tightly._

_“Vampire!” said Sirius, “You’re a bloody vampire!”_

_“Doctor Cullen,” said Dumbledore authoritatively, “It would likely be best to have Harry moved to the hospital wing.”_

_“Dumbledore!” said Sirius, “What in the name of Merlin? That man is a-!”_

_“Yes, Sirius,” said Harry, though his voice was barely more than a croak he still managed to roll his eyes at his godfather, “Bloody fucking vampire, we heard.”_

_“Language, Harry,” chided Carlisle, still distracted with looking over Harry’s injuries._

_“Sirius,” said Harry, “This is my father, Carlisle. Carlisle, this is my godfather. Does that clear things up for you a bit, Sirius?”_

_Astonishment crossed Sirius’s face and there were a few beats of silence before he spoke, “Do you mean to tell me that your adopted Father is a vampire?”_

_“No,” said Harry while he tracked Carlisle’s finger as it moved back and forth in front of his face, “I mean to tell you that my whole adopted family are vampires."_

_Carlisle tsk-ed quietly while looking over Harry’s leg. He quickly reached forward and held Harry’s head in his hands. He made direct eye contact as he said slowly, dangerously, “How did this happen to you?”_

_Harry sighed. He was so tired, too tired to recount the horror of the last few hours. He shook his head._

_Carlisle looked upset, more upset than Harry had often seen, “Harry,” he said as a warning._

_“Please, Dad,” murmured Harry, lowly, “I’ll tell you everything, I swear. I just want to go home.”_

_Carlisle agreed with a small nod, “Can you put weight on your foot?”_

_“I- I could before… It hurts more now…”_

_Carlisle’s eyes narrowed, “Have you been walking on this?”_

_“Later, Carlisle. Please,” begged Harry. Carlisle didn’t reply but moved to help Harry stand. When he put pressure on his leg, he yelped in pain, and Carlisle tsk-ed, again._

_“Fractured, probably.”_

_Carlisle held the majority of Harry’s weight easily and turned to Dumbledore and Sirius, “I trusted my son’s safety to you and I find him broken. I’m taking him home, he needs to be with his family.”_

_Dumbledore stepped forward again, looking deeply displeased, “Doctor Cullen, if you allow Harry to stay in the hospital wing he’ll be healed much more quickly, it would be to his benefit.”_

_Carlisle snorted at this, “I do believe I can take care of him, Professor. I’ve likely been a doctor longer than anyone in this castle has been alive._

_Sirius’s mouth dropped open slightly, he seemed to be at a loss for words._

_Dumbledore’s frown deepened, “While Harry is healed, you and I could also discuss what took place during the Triwizard Tournament today.”_

_Carlisle’s head snapped towards the Headmaster, eyes lit with fury, “Triwizard Tournament?” he said, voice nearly a growl, “To my understanding that is a game for children to participate in. Are you telling me that my son’s injuries came from other students? From your professors?”_

_Dumbledore’s eyes widen slightly, Harry had never seen the Headmaster look so unsure before, “No, no, Doctor Cullen, there are much larger forces at work here. Please, if you would only let me explain to you the circumstances-,”_

_Carlisle turned towards the fire, half carrying Harry, and said, his words dripping with loathing, “I’d rather hear that story from Harry. Thank you so very much, Professor.”_

_Carlisle paused momentarily then turned back to the two men with a sigh and spoke, “If Harry isn’t healing well we will return here for treatment. But, he’s clearly been through an ordeal and he will be coming home now. Where he belongs.”_

_Sirius scoffed slightly, “He’s a wizard! He belongs here! His family, for generations, has attended here!”_

_Carlisle didn't reply, instead he stepped in to the green flames and said, “Cullen Nest!”_

Harry pulled his mind away from that retched night with some difficulty. He didn’t want to remember Esme’s face when he’d come through the Floo, or Edward’s horror when his siblings returned home from school. It was a part of what had driven him from sharing the worst of his hardships in the Wizarding World with his family. He couldn’t stand to see them so upset. After a summer of having them dote upon him even more than they usually did, Harry had had an extremely difficult time convincing them to allow him to return to Hogwarts.

Harry was reminded of his interaction with Seamus Finnegan in the Gryffindor common room on September 1st, after the sorting ceremony.

 

            _“Me mam didn’t want me to come back to Hogwarts.”_

_Harry had snorted and nodded, somewhat sympathetically, “Yeah, mine either.”_

_Seamus had raised his eyebrows in response, “What? Why not?”_

_Harry was taken aback, “Er, because I almost died. Because of what happened. Isn’t that why your mum didn’t want you to come back? ‘Cause of the danger?”_

_“Well… Yeah, but… Me mam was more worried about… Well, about you, and Dumbledore, of course.”_

_“Me?” he had replied, shocked, “She thinks_ I’m _dangerous?”_

_Seamus stared at him awkwardly for a few seconds before realization finally dawned on Harry._

Harry scoffed to himself at the memory. He wondered what Mrs. Finnegan would have to say about him _now._

  

* * *

  

Bella was going absolutely mad, she was sure of it.

It had been months now since she had confronted the Cullens with her information about Harry and still _nothing._ Not even an apology. Hell, not even a nod of acknowledgment! She had gone there to offer to _help_ them and they had _mocked_ her! Rosalie had been about to kill her, she was sure of it.

Then, _then_ , Harry had shown up in the very flesh, as a _vampire_. He had approached her with animal grace, circled her like a predator. He was almost as beautiful as Edward. Almost.

And… She wasn't too proud to admit it. He had frightened her. He _did_ have red eyes, after all, and Alice had told her what _that_ meant. He was a killer. She was right to be afraid. And, sure, maybe she had been a little bit too afraid to approach the Cullens again for a while… No, not afraid, _respectful_ , she was giving them time to process Harry’s return. She was being a good friend.

But, then, the Cullens had been gone from school for _weeks,_ and when they finally came back they ignored her! Not even bothering to look in her direction, like they didn't even know her! Still, Bella stayed calm, she tried to give them time to come to _her_. Months went by with Bella still waiting, until she finally hit her breaking point.

That was how she found herself on the Cullens porch, pacing back and forth in front of their door. She had turned to knock a few times, but kept stopping herself to go over what she would say in her head again and again. She hoped Edward would answer. She would yell at him, chastise him for ignoring his feelings for her, even if he _was_ just trying to protect her. Or maybe instead she would say she understood, tell him that she didn’t care about the danger, that their love was meant to be and he couldn’t ignore it anymore. 

Or… She would lean forward and put her hand on his cheek and look in to his beautiful amber eyes and kiss him. He would kiss back and tell her that she _wasn’t_ crazy. That she was _right,_ he did love her. They were soul mates. They were meant to be together. She wasn't the only one who felt this way. He did too.

Bella turned again to face the door. She breathed in deeply and puffed the air out hard. She raised her hand to knock, and then lowered it again. She shook both her hands and hopped lightly on her toes, trying to shake off her nerves.

“Come on, Bella,” she murmured to herself.

She raised her hand again and knocked three times. She waited. Two beats. Three. Anxiety bubbled in her chest. She _wasn't_ afraid. She _wasn't_.

The door opened and Bella had an absurd urge to run. 

The first thing she saw was a mess of black hair. It wasn’t Edward who answered the door. It was Harry. She gasped slightly at the sight of him. 

Bella hadn’t seen Harry since that night, when he’d returned, and she could tell why. He looked awful. His hair didn’t have the same elegant coif as it had before, now it more resembled a bird’s nest, tangled on his head and looking as though it hadn’t been brushed in weeks. His face looked pinched and tense, and there were large purple bags under his eyes. His _eyes_ , however, surprised her the most.

They were the same deep red that they had been before, but only towards the edge of his irises, in the center growing outward from his pupils, though, they were emerald green. She watched as his eyes widened, his pupils dilating at the sight of her. His jaw clenched.

There was a strained moment of silence as the two stared at each other before Harry’s eyes narrowed slightly. Suddenly, his rigid stance relaxed in to the languid grace that she remembered. He stretched his arm, cat like, against the doorway and leaned against it. 

“Isabella Swan,” he said, raising an eyebrow. 

Bella gaped, “Your- your eyes…”

He chuckled, without humor, “Ah, yes, just another of my _quirks_.”

Harry continued to stare as Bella’s mind reeled with how to handle this predicament. She hadn’t imagined in any of her scenarios that _he_ would be the one to answer the door. Her nerves made her blurt out the first question that came to mind.

“Uh, uh, is Edward here?”

“ _No._ ”

 _Shit_ , she thought.

Harry smirked.

“Well,” she said, trying with all her might not to stutter, “Is anyone else here? Alice?”

“ _Nope_.” 

Harry was practically grinning now.

He spoke again before she could think of how to respond, “What are you doing here, little Bella? Come to harass my family some more? Make some empty threats?”

“No!” she said, her irritation overcoming her nervousness, “I never did that. I only want to help them! They’re my- my _friends_.”

Harry snorted.

“Don't make fun of me!” she said, feeling defensive. If only Edward were here, he would understand.

“You have a funny way of treating your friends.”

Bella felt her face heat up, a flush coloring her cheeks. Harry blinked, licking lips as his eyes moved over her face. Her heart skipped as she processed what he had said. He was the only one here. They were _alone_.

“Where is everyone else?”

Harry’s strange eyes snapped back to hers and it took a moment for him to respond.

“Hunting,” he said simply.

"Well, I’ll- I’ll just come back later.”

As she began to turn away he said, “Wait!" 

Bella felt fear freeze her heart. 

“Don’t fret,” he said, “They’ll be back soon. Why don’t we wait together?”

Bella didn't dare move as he closed the door behind him. She took a step away as he approached her, but he didn’t move to attack. Instead, he laughed and smiled slightly. He walked past her and sat down on the steps.

“Have a seat.”

Bella cautiously stepped forward and sat beside him, as far away as she could manage. Her eyes widened in surprise as he lit a cigarette with a matchbook. 

He glanced at her, and noting her caution, said, “Oh, sorry, does it bother you? It calms my nerves a bit.”

Bella blinked. It didn’t bother her. Her mother had always smoked. She tried to hide it from Bella, but she could always smell it on her clothes. The scent was almost comforting. Bella didn't say any of this, of course; instead she just shook her head. 

“I,” Harry paused to clear his throat, then continued, staring off towards the woods, “I wanted to apologize to you, Isabella.”

_What the fuck?_

“I’m sorry that I frightened you, when you were here a few months ago.”

“I’m not afraid of you,” she lied.

Harry spared her an amused glance. Bella flushed once again and Harry’s gaze shot back to the forest, “’Course you aren’t, but I thought I’d say it, all the same." 

 _Why is he being so_ nice _? What is he doing? Making fun?_

Bella continued to glare at him, defiant.

Harry sighed, “You may be an irritating little girl, but I know a thing or two about not being able to mind your own business. I’ve gotten myself in to quite a few sticky situations because I couldn't.”

He looked at her again, still smiling, “It isn’t all that easy being human, is it? My family forgets what it’s like, they’ve been vampires for too long.” 

Bella was astonished for a moment, it was the first time any of the Cullens had actually _admitted_ what they were. She hadn’t thought that she would ever hear one of them say the word ‘vampire’ out loud. Again, she said the first thing that popped in to her head, “I’m not little! And it is my business!” 

Harry scoffed, “Oh really? And how do you figure that?” 

She was angry now, her fear forgotten, “I _figure_ it because- because,” she couldn’t stop herself, she’d held them in for too long and now the words poured from her mouth, “Because I love Edward! He’s the _one_ , we’re meant to be together!” 

Harry’s eyes were full of pity as he looked at her and she couldn't _stand_ it.

“You don’t understand! I’m not some silly schoolgirl. I can _feel_ it. We have a real connection. It’s _real_.”

Harry scoffed again, “What, true love?”

“ _Yes._ ” 

Harry sized her up and she refused the break eye contact. She _wasn't_ afraid of him. He was just like the kids at school who didn’t understand her. He was only twenty-three; he was too _young_ to understand. Not like Edward. 

Harry hummed and looked again towards the forest. He took a long drag from his cigarette before he muttered, “You think you're his _Chosen_.” 

Bella’s rage fizzled out at his words, her curiosity piqued, “Chosen? Is that like- like soul mate?” 

"Kind of.” He put out the butt of his cigarette and reached in to his pack for another. He spoke with it in his mouth while lighting the end, “For vampires.” 

“What do you mean?” she was excited now, “Is that what the others are? Rosalie and Emmett, Jasper and Alice? Carlisle and Esme? They’re _Chosen_?” 

Harry hummed again and looked thoughtfully at the overcast sky, “No… Just Rosalie and Emmett, actually.”

Bella was overcome with eagerness to know more, impatient to put a name to her feelings for Edward. She pressed forward, her weariness of Harry forgotten, “What do you mean? Jasper and Alice aren’t soul mates?”

Harry’s glance was irritated, but he spoke, if begrudgingly, “No, they aren't. Chosen are… Rare. Very rare. Most vampires never meet their Chosen, or maybe they don’t exist for all of us. No one really knows for sure, because so few Chosen actually find each other.”

“So, what? The ones who don't find them, they just stay with someone who isn’t their soul mate? That’s depressing.”

“Oh, on the contrary,” Harry replied, he wasn’t looking at Bella at all anymore, he seemed to be talking to himself, “It’s better. Chosen are… Passionate. It’s a painful, all consuming obsession. Codependent. If one dies, the other is likely to off themselves, the kind of love that wars are started over. It’s a bloody Greek tragedy. Wouldn’t you rather love someone that you picked yourself? That you wanted to love? Love with that part of you that’s still human, not the part that’s a monster?”

Bella wasn’t paying attention to Harry’s words, her heart was racing with excitement, “That must be it. Me and Edward, we must be Chosen.”

"Ha!” said Harry, “You aren’t.”

“What?” said Bella, furious again, “How could you _possibly_ know that? You don't know how he feels!” 

“I know enough,” he said, his voice was low and dangerous, but Bella paid him no mind. 

“Well, I know more!”

Harry was glaring openly at her now and a freezing wind was starting to pick up, but Bella was too annoyed to notice.

“Really, Isabella?” his voice was dripping with scorn, “What is that you _know_? Because, it seems to me that you really know _nothing_ at all about much of _anything._ ”

Bella’s rage took her over and she spoke without thinking of the consequences, “I know a _lot_. I know that you're a killer! I know that you’re a _witch_!”

Harry laughed and spoke with contempt, “A _witch_ , really? And what are you going to do with that information, Isabella? Are you going to gather the town’s people and come here with pitchforks? Have me burned at the stake? Do you think this is the _fucking_ Crucible?”  
  
The wind whipping around Bella was starting to hurt, the cold making her teeth chatter and her nose and ears ache, but she ignored it. The months of anger she had built up towards the Cullens was finally coming to a head, “You’re _jealous_. You’re just jealous that you don't have a Chosen, that no one loves you like I love Edward!”

Disdain colored Harry’s every word as he spoke, “Oh _yes_ , Isabella, you’ve hit the nail on the bloody head! You seem to hold these notions of ‘true love’ and ‘soul mates’ in high regard, but let me tell you, it’s not all it’s _fucking_ cracked up to be! If you were Edward’s Chosen he would have turned you the moment he first saw you! He couldn’t have stopped himself!” 

She could barely hear him through the roar of the wind around her but she was desperate to prove to herself, to _him_ , that what she felt wasn’t _stupid_. It was _real_. It just had to be. She inhaled a breath of icy air and was about to shout at him when she felt herself lifted off the ground. Her body was slammed painfully against the wall of the house and she found that she couldn't move her limbs. The cold air was making it almost impossible to breath. 

Bella looked at Harry in panic as he stormed towards her, unaffected by the powerful gust. He stopped directly in front of her, his eyes blazing with power and wrath. He leaned in close enough for their noses to almost touch. His voice was positively glacial and though he whispered, Bella could hear him perfectly.

“I’ll show you _witch_ , Isabella, and I’ll show you _killer.”_

Harry opened his mouth wide. Bella could do nothing but stare at his sharp teeth. He leaned forward and true terror ran through Bella for the first time in her life. She closed her eyes. She was going to die. 

“ _Harry!_ ” 

And like it was never there, the wind was gone. Bella fell forward from the wall and landed on her hands and knees. She gasped and breathed in the warm air deeply. When she was finally able to look up, Harry was gone and in his place was Edward. Her heart clenched. He’d saved her. _Again_. 

She beamed at him. She moved to embrace him.

Edward shoved her back forcefully. 

“ _What are you doing here_?” 

She blinked. What did he mean? 

“Don’t you have any _sense_? Do you _want_ to die?”

“N- no,” she stammered, confused and dazed from her near death experience.

“Because,” said Edward, voice deathly low, “If you do, I could tell them to let Harry go. He’d be more than happy to oblige.”

Bella looked past Edward and for the first time noticed the rest of the Cullen clan in the front yard. Jasper and Emmett were holding Harry, but he didn’t appear to be fighting them. His hands were clenched in fists at his sides. Alice was standing next to Jasper, her posture tense. Esme stepped forward to stroke Harry’s hair. His eyes squeezed shut.

Directly behind Edward was Carlisle, his expression indecipherable. Beside Edward was Rosalie, her mouth was turned down in a scowl, and her eyes glared daggers.

“Or,” said Edward, calmly, “I could let Rosalie have you. She has some _interesting_ ideas, to say the least.” 

“E- Edward…” she trailed off, not sure how to process what was happening. 

“Please, Bella,” he said, “Enlighten me. Do you want me to let them kill you?” 

“No,” she whispered. She could feel her eyes starting to burn.

“Okay,” he said, he moved closer to her, “Then leave my house, and never, ever come back. I swear I won’t stop them the next time.”

Bella’s throat clenched, she gulped, trying to hold back her tears.

“ _Do you understand_?”

“Yes,” she said, feeling as though she were betraying herself with her own words, “I understand.”

“ _Promise me_.”

Bella spoke the damning words, “I promise that I- I won't come back." 

Edward stared hard, “Good. Now go.”

Bella glanced around at the others as she stood. She took a shaky step forward. No one moved to stop her. Bella started to run. 

She didn't look back. Even as she opened her truck door and started the engine with a quivering hand after dropping the keys twice. 

She drove home, heart hammering with fear, and then she kept driving.

She drove straight to the Quileute reservation.

Bella knocked on Billy Black's door and when Jacob answered she threw herself in to his arms and started to cry.

“I need your help,” she said through her sobs.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter features another flashback in italics. The flashback takes place on Christmas of Harry’s fifth year, after they’ve been to St. Mungos to visit Mr. Weasley and eaten dinner. Just FYI in case you were confused about the timeline.  
> Also, the line about the form of a Patronus is taken straight from Pottermore.  
> I hope you like the chapter. Thanks for reading.

 

 

Edward was playing piano. Harry could hear the soft tinkling of the keys from where he was perched on the Cullen’s balcony. He was playing Chopin’s _Nocturne Op. 27 No. 2_. It was one of Harry’s favorite pieces and he wondered if Edward was playing it for him. Harry wanted to go inside, to sit on the bench next to Edward and pretend that everything was as it had been before. It had been so long since he had last played, after all. 

 

Edward played the last key and paused. Harry lit a cigarette and heard Edward sigh. Harry leaned his head back against the railing as Edward began playing Debussy’s _La Plus Que Lente_. He closed his eyes and let the music pull him into his memories. 

 

* * *

 

_“Harry can play!”_

 

_Harry’s head darted up at his name._

 

_Hermione looked toward him and continued, “Can’t you?”_

 

_Harry stared at her blankly. His mind had been wandering. It was Christmas and he wasn’t with his family. Christmas had always been the best time of the year at the Cullen house, and he wasn’t there. Instead, he was cooped up in Grimmauld Place, surrounded by people who were desperately trying to pretend that there wasn’t a war happening. The bright, homemade decorations created an odd juxtaposition against the dilapidated, depressing interior of the home. It was like a metaphor for all of its occupants._

 

_Hermione gestured to the piano and Harry’s heart began to race. Did she want him to play? How did she even know that he could?_

 

_“Oh, I-I can’t, I don’t really know…”_

 

_Hermione rolled her eyes, “Oh please. You’re excellent! I heard you playing in the Room of Requirement.”_

 

_Of course she had. Harry had had the passing thought of playing once, when he’d believed he was alone after a DA meeting._

 

_Sirius was watching him with his brows knit together, “Can you really, Harry? When did you learn?”_

 

_Harry shrugged half heartedly. Edward had taught him to play, it was how they had first bonded when he’d been adopted. Playing the piano had been how he had learned to express himself, before he was even comfortable speaking to anyone._

 

_Harry could see that the group was waiting for a response. He looked them over as he considered his options. He was in the Grimmauld living room, surrounded by the Weasleys, minus Mr. Weasley who was still being treated at St. Mungos after being attacked by Nagini, and Hermione as well as Sirius. The fireplace was roaring and a grand piano had been moved out of the attic in to the large space. ‘How wonderful!’ Mrs. Weasley had exclaimed, ‘Maybe one of you could learn!’ she had said to her children, who had each rolled their eyes._

 

_Harry kept his lips tightly closed. He didn’t want to play. The piano was his, and Edward’s and all the Cullen’s. Harry kept many aspects of his life with his family private from the Wizarding World for a few reasons. For one, because it kept them safe. Two, he couldn’t really get in to much detail, Sirius may know that his family were vampires, but it didn’t mean he wanted anyone else to find out. And third… He liked to keep part of himself private, the part of who he was that wasn’t defined by being the Boy-Who-Lived. He liked to have this other Harry, who wasn’t a hero._

 

_“Oh, he can’t play!” said Fred, laughing, “Hermione’s just pulling our leg!”_

 

_“Yeah,” continued Ron, “Just ‘cause he’s the Chosen One doesn’t mean he can do everything!”_

 

_“Sure it does, defeat a dark lord, play a sonata, all in days work for a boy hero,” George laughed in response._

 

_Harry prickled. He couldn't refuse a challenge. He looked at the twins and raised an eyebrow. Clearly his throat, he made his way to the piano. Once seated at the bench Harry became very aware of the eyes on him. He was deeply regretting his rash decision, he blamed his inner Gryffindor. Unfortunately, there was no going back now._

 

_Harry clasped his fingers together and cracked them loudly in front of himself, stalling when he realized that there was no sheet music. Harry thought of the songs he could play from memory, limited as they were, and chose what he considered to be the most impressive, Consolation S.172 No. 3 by Liszt._

 

_When Harry put his fingers to the keys he could hear Ron and the twins hollering, clearly encouraging what they thought was a joke, but they were quickly silenced by both Hermione’s shushing and Harry’s skill, which was becoming apparent._

 

_Harry lost himself quickly in the music. The room was silent around him as he played, he squeezed his eyes closed in concentration and let his hands fly across the keys. God, he had missed this so much. With his eyes closed he could imagine he was in the Cullen house in Astoria, the large windows wide open, sea air blowing across his face, his family in different parts of the house, but all listening intently to his playing. He could imagine Edward slapping his hand away from the keys every time he made a mistake, patiently correcting him again and again until he had finally made it through the entire song, and looked up to see Edward smiling down at him._

 

_‘That’s enough practice, I think. Soon you’ll be better than I am!’ Edward had said, proud and grinning ear to ear._

 

_As Harry played he thought of Edward, and of Carlisle, of all of his siblings and what they were doing without him now. He hoped that they were celebrating. He hoped Alice had purchased everyone expensive high fashion items, straight off the runway, that were completely impractical for actual use. He hoped Esme had still cooked a feast worthy of a king. He hoped Edward was playing his Debussy and that Emmett and Rosalie were playing video games and that Rosalie threatened to unplug the system every time she lost. He hoped Jasper was kindly modeling his gifts from Alice._

 

_And he wished that Carlisle would hug him and say, “Merry Christmas, son. We love you so much.”_

 

_But, none of that would happen. He knew that. They wouldn’t celebrate Christmas without him, they never had before he had come along. And he certainly wouldn’t be getting a hug from his father._

 

_He hoped they at least put up a tree._

 

_Harry finished the piece, his fingers lingering on the last keys and, when he finally pulled his foot off the pedal and the sound ceased, he dared to look up._

 

_The first person he saw was Sirius, who was gaping at him in open astonishment. Harry flushed and darted his eyes to the Weasleys and saw the same expression mirrored on their faces. Even Hermione looked surprised._

 

_Mrs. Weasley’s face suddenly split into a watery grin, a few tears escaped her eyes as she ran to Harry and embraced him, “Oh Harry!” she said, “That was just beautiful! Where did you learn to play like that?”_

 

_Harry was sure he was as red as a beet now and he shrugged again as Mrs. Weasley released him, “Er, my brother-,” Harry glanced in Sirius’s direction as he spoke, “He loves the piano. He taught me when I was little.”_

 

_Sirius looked pale but shot Harry a tense smile when he caught his eye._

 

_“Of course,” said Mrs. Weasley, looking at Harry curiously, “I still can’t believe we haven’t met your family.”_

 

_“Yeah,” replied Harry, “Well, you know, they’re…” He glanced at Sirius again, who raised an eyebrow, “Muggles. And they’re in the States, so…”_

 

_“Of course,” she repeated, “Still, it would be lovely to meet them, dear. They must be well off! You’re always dressed in such nice clothes!”_

 

_Harry winced, for once wishing Alice wouldn’t force him in to such fashionable clothing. As much as it was appreciated, he didn’t like the idea that he may be flaunting his wealth._

 

_“Right,” said Harry, “Well, they’re er-Old money?”_

 

_Sirius snorted loudly and muttered something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like ‘Old indeed’ as Harry shot him a glare._

 

_Harry was relived that if Mrs. Weasley had noticed this exchange that she didn’t acknowledge it. Instead, she ruffled Harry’s hair fondly and gripped his face before bustling in to the kitchen while saying, “Oh, it’s Christmas after all, a butterbeer for each of you and then off to bed!”_

 

_With Mrs. Weasley's departure Harry was forced to face the others. The twins, along with Ron and Ginny, still appeared to be somewhat astounded. Hermione, rather predictably, was looking thoughtful._

 

_“Bloody hell, mate!” exclaimed Ron, “Hermione was right, you are excellent! Why didn’t I know you could do that?”_

 

_Harry shrugged again, uncomfortable, and made a noncommittal sound._

 

_The twins had managed to shake off their shock and Fred narrowed his eyes conspiratorially as he said, “Don’t let the Daily Prophet get a hold of this.”_

 

_George smirked as spoke up, “Wouldn’t want that, I can see the headlines now-,”_

 

_“Oh, enough!” interrupted Hermione, “Don’t make fun just because you’re jealous!”_

 

_“Jealous!” exclaimed Fred and George in unison. George continued, “I’ll have you know-!”_

 

_Sirius’s voice suddenly cut through the squabbling, “Harry,” he said, and Harry’s swiveled his head nearly fast enough to cause whip lash, “Play another song.”_

 

_Harry’s eyes widened at the request and Sirius smiled kindly at him, “Please,” he added._

 

_Harry’s face lit up with a smile and a warmth pooled in his chest._

 

* * *

 

“Harry?” 

 

A soft rapping on the glass door leading to the balcony pulled Harry out of his reminiscing. Harry’s eyes shot open and he turned to see Alice smiling at him from inside. Harry blinked at her and she looked pointedly at his still lit cigarette. He hastily put it out and moved to slide the door open. 

 

Alice continued smiling as she stepped on to the balcony. 

 

“Sorry,” said Harry, gesturing to his extinguished cigarette, “I know none of you like it.” 

 

“Oh, that’s alright,” she dismissed, though her disapproval was apparent. 

 

Harry cleared his throat awkwardly, “Well, it’s not as if it will kill me, right?” 

 

“Ha,” said Alice, without humor, as the smile slipped off her face. 

 

Harry winced, “ _Sorry._ Shit.” 

 

Alice shrugged in response and leaned against the railing. She was staring of in to the distance, a contented look on her face. Harry approached and leaned next to her. 

 

“I’m sorry I’m so-,” he shook his head and sighed, “I’m sorry it’s all so difficult. I didn’t mean for it to be like this, my coming home.” 

 

Alice turned to him and raked her eyes over his face, she hummed and said affectionately, “Your eyes are almost all green now.” 

 

Harry bit his lip and waited for her to continue. 

 

She still looked fond as she added, “They look so much brighter without your glasses.” 

 

Harry wanted to mention that his vampirism probably played a part in how bright they were, but held his tongue. 

 

“It’s strange, isn't it?” he said instead, pointedly looking at the ground, “That they’re still green. I-I never thought…”

 

“I think it’s wonderful.” 

 

Harry looked to her nervously, he was unsure. He hadn’t spoken to Alice one on one like this very much since he’d returned. He worried that she resented him, or that she was angry with him. He worried, like he did with each member of his family, the she wouldn’t be able to forgive him. He was different, after all. Maybe they wouldn't want him anymore. He wouldn’t hold it against them if they didn’t. 

 

Alice was smiling again, she put her hand on his shoulder and rubbed her thumb comfortingly over his collarbone. 

 

“Let’s go downstairs and see the others, okay?”

 

Harry swallowed and nodded, bracing himself. It wasn't that he’d been _hiding_ from his family… He’d just been avoiding them a little. He wasn’t proud of it, but he hated the look they had in their eyes whenever they saw him. So mournful, so concerned… 

 

Harry snorted quietly to himself at the thought. How terrible, to have a family that was _worried_ about him. How _would_ he survive. Irritated with himself for being so ridiculous, he followed Alice down the stairs. 

 

When he entered the living room Harry saw Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie seated around the television. They greeted him warmly and beckoned him to join. Harry looked to the adjoining room where Edward was still seated at the piano. He smiled at Harry and continued to play softly. Encouraged, Harry wrapped a blanket around his shoulders and curled in to his armchair with his legs tucked underneath him. 

 

Harry watched whatever film was playing through half lidded eyes. He found himself focusing more on the tinkling sound of the piano from the other room and on the soft conversation that he could hear Esme and Carlisle having in the kitchen. The corners of his mouth turned up while he listened to Rosalie criticize the logic of the movie’s main characters. 

 

He felt a comfort wash over him that he hadn’t felt since he was a child. He allowed himself to feel safe and warm. It was nice to not be running anymore. 

 

He was home. 

 

* * *

 

The Cullens watched as Harry’s eyes slowly drooped shut. 

 

“He looks so peaceful, doesn’t he?” whispered Alice, so quiet that a human wouldn’t have had any idea that she’d spoken at all, “Like he’s little again.” 

 

Rosalie shushed her and hissed, “Don’t wake him!” 

 

“Oh, come on! He’s totally passed out!” said Emmett, keeping his voice just as low as Alice’s. 

 

Edward had moved in to the living room and was standing behind the couch, “I’m so happy that he’s back,” he murmured, “Everything makes more sense with him here.” 

 

There were a few beats of silence as they observed him. 

 

“It’s weird that he isn’t breathing, you know?” said Emmett, “Makes me nervous. He looks like he’s…” 

 

_Dead_. The unsaid word hung heavily over the room. 

 

Harry jerked suddenly in his sleep and whimpered. 

 

Carlisle was in the room not a second later, and stood beside Edward as he said, “What’s wrong?”

 

Harry turned his head and muttered something intelligible. 

 

Jasper winced, “Nightmare, I think. Doesn’t feel good.”

 

Harry flinched and muttered again, the only word they could make out was ‘Leave’.

 

“Let’s wake him,” said Rosalie, her voice flat and tense. 

 

Before any of them could try, Harry’s eyes flew open and he exclaimed loudly. A light burst around him and blinded the Cullens as they tried to move forward to help. 

 

The light dimmed in to a small form which moved around Harry’s feet, swishing a fluffy tail. It was a creature made of silvery-white light. Pointed ears could be made out, it appeared to be a kind of cat or small dog. Harry hissed as the creature jumped in to his lap and nuzzled his face and before any of the Cullens could tell for sure what the animal was, he waved his hand in a striking motion and it disappeared in a cloud of silver. 

 

Harry raked his fingers through his hair and leaned back in to his armchair as he sighed and turned to face his family, “Sorry.” 

 

“No,” said Esme, moving forward to kneel beside him, “Don’t be sorry. Are you okay?” 

 

“I’m fine,” he said, shaking his head. 

 

Esme tutted and rubbed his back. 

 

“What was that?” said Alice. 

 

“Huh?” said Harry, looking dazed.

 

“That,” replied Alice, nodding her head in the direction of the spot that the creature had vanished from, “What was it?” 

 

“Oh,” Harry sighed, “It was… Nothing.” 

 

“It certainly looked like something,” said Carlisle, raising an eyebrow at his son.

 

Harry looked hesitant and reluctantly muttered, “It’s just a patronus. I didn’t mean to conjure it.” 

 

“Your patronus?” said Edward, taken aback, “I thought you said your patronus was a stag.”

 

Harry’s eyes were shuttered as he spoke, “It was. They can change when you…” he sighed again, “Get older and… Stuff.”

 

“And _stuff_?”

 

“Uh huh,” said Harry, jumping out of his seat, “I think I’ll just go and read, or something.” 

 

With that he swept from the room. 

 

The couch made a _whooshing_ sound as Emmett flopped back on to it, “What a weirdo,” he said as he picked up the remote for his Xbox. 

 

“I heard that,” said Harry from his room. Emmett smiled in the direction of the stairs and rolled his eyes.

 

* * *

 

Alice was concerned. She wasn’t usually one to be suspicious but something about the patronus that Harry had conjured and his thin explanation of its shifted form had made her leery. 

 

She was tip toeing in to Harry’s old room, glancing around as she opened the door and shutting it the moment she was in. She approached his bookshelf and started skimming the titles. 

 

Alice couldn’t help the nagging feeling of guilt in her stomach. _It’s not snooping_ , she thought to herself, _Harry doesn’t want this room anyway_. 

 

_He probably wouldn’t even mind_.

 

Alice selected a book on advanced Charms and skimmed the index. When she came up with nothing, she reached for another book, and then another…

 

She’d gone through half the contents of the bookshelf before she finally found a passage on the Patronus Charm. There was only a small section that was helpful, it read: 

 

_The form of a Patronus may change during the course of a witch or wizard’s life. Instances have been known of the form of the Patronus transforming due to bereavement, falling in love, or profound shifts in a person’s character._

 

She felt her stomach drop as she read ‘profound shifts in character’ but calmed herself, thinking that though Harry had changed, he was stillhimself. His personality was the same, at its core. He was still bold and bright as the sun. He was still clever and cunning. His eyes still twinkled the same way when he teased one of his siblings. And he was, certainly, still prone to bouts of dramatics and pouting. 

 

Alice supposed that bereavement could have changed Harry’s patronus; he had lost many loved ones. She felt a spike sympathy for her younger brother at the thought and hoped it wasn’t the case. 

 

But, what else could it be? Her guilt was growing as she began to regret her prying. 

 

She wished that her Sight could tell her more. 

 

She read the passage again and ran her finger along the line that read ‘falling in love.’ Surely, that couldn’t be it. Alice reflected on Harry’s attitude, pausing when she analyzed the bizarre way that Harry had been treating Edward, how he had been avoiding him at every turn, almost afraid to even look at him. Edward had been Harry’s closest confidant before his disappearance and Alice had chalked his avoidance up to remorse, but maybe there was more to it… 

 

Maybe Harry _did_ have a good reason for not coming home.

 

Alice thought back to the night he’d returned. She thought of his red eyes, his predatory grace, his menacing smile. 

 

She thought of his unstable magic and his unstable moods. 

 

Alice felt fear run through her and she shivered. 

 

_THUMP_

 

Alice jumped. She heard a shout from another room. She stood and raced in to the main room, where the others were gathering. Carlisle was looking out one of the large windows and frowning. Esme was at his side and gripping his arm. A large bowl filled with decorative fruit was spilled on the ground near them. 

 

Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper entered behind her. Jasper went to Alice and put an arm around her. 

 

“ _Fuck_ ,” said Rosalie, sneering. 

 

Harry peeked his head out from the top of the stairs and came down when he saw the gathering around the doorway.

 

He wrinkled his nose as he grew nearer, “Ew,” he said, “What is that awful smell?”

 

Rosalie moved stand slightly in front of him and growled, “ _Wolves_.” 


	11. Chapter 11

 

 

" _Wolves?_ " said Harry, his voice high and nasal from holding his nose closed between his thumb and index finger, "What do you mean _wolves_?"

" _Werewolves_ ," growled Rosalie as she crouched in to a defensive position as Harry attempted to move around her.

Harry looked at her incredulously, letting go of his nose, "Werewolves do _not_ smell like this."

Edward cut in, "Not werewolves like you know them. They're more like shapeshifters. They can turn in to wolves whenever they like."

"Well, bully for them. What the hell does that have to do with us?"

Carlisle didn't look away from the window as he spoke, other than a slight rustling in the trees of the forest Harry could see nothing, "They're a part of the Quileute tribe and their transformation is meant to guard their people from _the cold ones_ , their name for vampires. We struck up a treaty with them a long time ago, the first time we lived here."

Harry's eyebrows were near his hairline, these shapeshifters sounded _fascinating_ , "What treaty?"

"We don't hunt humans and they don't bother us," said Emmett, simply.

" _And_ ," continued Alice, "we stay off of their lands. Don't you remember, Harry? We mentioned where you weren't allowed to hunt?"

Harry did not remember, maybe he'd been a bit too wrapped up in his own drama, "Oh _right_ , of course I remember," he lied.

Figures could be seen moving out of the trees now. Harry focused on them in interest. He noticed that they were each wearing only a pair of trousers, other than the girl-wolf, who also wore a vest. Harry wondered if the rustling behind the trees had been caused by the wolves transforming back in to humans and hastily getting dressed. Harry snorted slightly, the image made them much less intimidating.

His siblings shot him irritated glares and Harry rolled his eyes. What danger were a bunch of shapeshifters to a coven of vampires, after all?

Edward scowled as he turned to face Harry, "We also are under no circumstances to turn a human. If we break any of these rules then the treaty is forfeit."

"So what?" said Harry, impatient, "They couldn't hurt all of us! And we didn't even break this silly treaty. I haven't hunted humans since I've been here," he paused and cleared his throat, uncomfortable, "And none of _you_ turned me."

Carlisle interrupted whatever Edward's response would have been and said in a firm voice, "Let's go out to meet them. I don't want them too near the house."

"Good idea, we'd never get the smell out," muttered Jasper.

The other Cullens ignored Jasper and moved to the door. Harry moved to follow but Rosalie put out an arm and stopped him in his tracks, " _Not you,_ " she snarled.

"What!" exclaimed Harry, "Why not? I can help!"

"We do not have time for arguments," said Carlisle, already at the door, "Harry, stay here. It's safer this way."

Harry scoffed.

"I mean it."

Harry huffed but muttered, "Fine."

Carlisle eyed him for a moment before saying, "Do not leave this house. Don't let them see you."

Harry rolled his eyes again and said something under his breath about overprotective sires.

" _Harry._ "

"Okay, I won't," said Harry, giving in.

Carlisle nodded and Harry's family was gone. Harry didn't wait even a second before his eyes were glued to the window. He crouched down slightly, hoping no one would be able to see him.

Harry watched as his family approached the so-called wolves.

His mind wandered as the Cullens slowly moved forward. He was almost twenty-four, for Merlin's sake. He didn't know why his family insisted on treating him like he was twelve years old and made of bloody _glass_.

The Cullens and the wolves were a fair distance away and Harry couldn't make out the exchange as well as he would have liked. He wanted to open the window but he was sure someone would notice _that_.

The two groups were both in defensive positions, looking like they would spring in to battle at any moment. Harry wished he knew what they were saying.

What Harry did hear was the catty tone in Rosalie's voice that caused one of the shapeshifter to lunge forward and suddenly transform. Harry noted with amusement that the creature's trousers were torn to shreds in the act. He'd likely have trouble getting home.

However, what Harry did not find amusing was the absolutely overwhelming size of the wolf.

_Holy shit!_

That thing was enormous! Harry definitely understood his family's concern now. If there were that many of them and they were all that big…

Harry blinked as a crack formed in the window and then sighed, it wasn't a crack in the glass at all, but a crack in the layer of ice that had formed on it. He looked around and noticed that ice covered half the wall. Harry groaned in exasperation. He needed to get his magic under control, somehow. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to quell his nerves.

" _Absolutely not_ ," he heard Carlisle snarl. Harry's head snapped up, was his magic letting him hear their conversation?

"He's done nothing wrong," said Carlisle, in a voice that was as cold as the ice surrounding Harry.

Harry figured that his magic must have done this and mused that maybe it was good for something after all.

"You've all done something wrong!" said one of the wolves, the tallest and oldest looking, sounding furious, "You revealed yourselves to Isabella and threatened her life!"

"Revealed _ourselves_?" came Rosalie's voice, full of loathing, "She claimed it was one of your books that let her discover what we are! We only threatened her after she threatened to expose _us_ to the humans!"

Another boy spoke now, he looked younger than the first one but just a strong, "Bella said you took a human, a _kid_ , and raised him! And now he's a freakin' vampire and you guys have _nothing_ to do with it? How convenient!"

"We didn't _take_ him," said Edward vehemently, "He was an orphan. We _adopted_ him."

Carlisle's voice was still frigid as he spoke, "We didn't live here at the time of his adoption. It took place in the UK and then we lived in Oregon. He was gone for a long time and he didn't come to live here until just a few months ago, already turned in an attack, not by us. He's not hunted anything but animals in _this_ forest, away from your land, since then. We've not broken the treaty."

The second boy spoke again, insistent and shaking his head, "Bella said he's a killer! That he tried to kill her flat out and that he has red eyes! _So_ -,"

"Bella is a liar," said Alice, her voice surprisingly firm, "She's only told you that to get revenge, to hide her own embarrassment-,"

"It is more than just _embarrassment_ ," said the first boy, Harry thought that he must be the leader, "I saw Isabella's fear and the bruises that she bore, she didn't come to us just because she wanted revenge."

"She is lucky that she's only _bruised_!" said Rosalie, "What does she expect, coming to our nest and provoking us, provoking our youngest, a fledgling, who is still trying to gain control-,"

" _Oh_! So you admit that he can't control himself?" said the second boy, smirking at his own cleverness.

"I'm doing all right," muttered Harry from the window, though no one could hear him. He scowled at the stupid boy. What did he know, anyway?

The girl-wolf spoke up next, her voice stronger and deeper than Harry would have imagined, "If he's so in control then why is hiding? We can see him through your window, you know."

Harry's eyes widened and he ducked out of the window. The voices were silent and he wondered if his magic had stopped letting him listen. He dared to peek his head up again and when he did he saw many pairs of eyes staring right at him. He gulped.

Harry saw Carlisle narrow his eyes and grimaced.

Carlisle spoke on anyway, turning away and ignoring Harry, "It is not that he is out of control. It simply takes time to learn to live off of animal blood. It isn't _easy_ , that's why he isn't allowed near humans. He stays here, isolated from them, and only leaves the house to hunt _with us_. Isabella made the mistake of coming to our home, uninvited, when we were unprepared more than once. Anything that has happened to her she has brought on herself."

"That's not good enough!" said the second boy, through clenched teeth, "He should pay for what he did to her! All of you should!"

"There has to be retribution," the first boy agreed.

Rosalie growled and look about ready to leap but Carlisle raised an arm to halt her and spoke, "As long as Isabella leaves us alone there will be no more incidents. If she can manage to stay away from us, then she will be perfectly safe."

"She shouldn't have to worry about that!" shouted the second boy, indignant.

Harry was getting irritated. Should he just go out there? He found himself tired of listening to these self important shapeshifters make their circular arguments and he certainly wouldn't mind a fight.

Before Harry could make a decision, the first boy, the leader crossed his arms and raised his chin. He nodded once, firmly, at Carlisle and said, "Bring him out here and let us size him up. We'll talk to him and decide if he's really a threat."

The reaction from his family was immediate, each raising their lips in snarls and hissing.

Rosalie spoke first, "Do you think we're foolish enough-,"

Carlisle cut her off, "Okay. We'll let you talk to him, but if you attack we will not hold back."

" _Carlisle_ ," hissed Edward, eyes wide.

"Enough," said Carlisle calmly, "Harry will be safe with all of us here," he eyed the wolves, "our lives will be much easier if we can all trust one another. I think we'd all like to avoid a fight, if possible."

The wolf leader narrowed his eyes but nodded again.

Carlisle looked towards the window and met Harry's eyes. He inclined his head and Harry assumed that was his cue to join them.

_Merlin's beard_

Harry stood and swallowed once. He ran a hand through his hair, wondering why he was suddenly so nervous, and reached for the doorknob. It was slick and coated in ice. Harry leaned his forehead against the door and closed his eyes tight. He had to get his magic in order, he couldn't let himself hurt one of the wolves or he'd start an all out war.

Harry shook his head firmly and opened the door.

The stench of the wolves was much worse than it was inside and he couldn't help but wrinkle his nose in disgust.

He took a step forward and in the next instant he stood next to Carlisle, who put a hand to his shoulder.

There was a tense pause as the wolves observed him. Harry's siblings were stock still, but he knew they were reading to pounce at any moment. Edward's hands were curled in to claws and Rosalie's teeth were still bared. The only sound was a low snarl that came from Jasper.

"But he has green eyes!" exclaimed one of the younger boys, breaking the tension, "What the heck does that mean?"

" _Shut up_!" whispered another young wolf, elbowing the other boy, who rubbed his arm and glared.

One of the older wolves turned and gave the boys a stern glance that shushed them.

Harry couldn't restrain an eye roll at that. Clearly these shapeshifters were just stupid children.

The wolves continued to 'size him up' in silence, until Harry finally got sick of it.

"For fuck's sake, _what_?" he said, causing one of his siblings to hiss his name, he ignored them and continued, "You see me, so what? Are we going to fight now or are you going to leave?"

The leader glared and sneered at Harry, "You should show some _respect_. You wouldn't like this fight."

Harry laughed without humor, "I think I might."

The leader only glared harder, "You don't know what you are up against," he turned to look at Carlisle, "control your _fledgling_ , Cullen."

Harry bristled, "I can _control_ myself _._ "

The second boy stepped forward and his voice was full of loathing, "You should be scared of what-!"

Harry interrupted him with another laugh, "Oh, I am certainly not afraid of a bunch hopped up shapeshifters who think they _matter-,_ "

The boy suddenly leapt forward and faster than a flash he was a wolf, mid air, huge and about to land his claws in Harry before anyone could move.

But before he landed, he was halted and frozen, unable to move and trapped a breath away from Harry's face.

Harry grinned fiercely as the wolf whimpered. His magic seemed to be doing him a lot of favors today.

"What are you doing?" screamed the girl-wolf, livid, "Let him go!"

Harry looked behind the wolf and smirked wickedly at the girl, "I _will,_ " he turned to look at the leader, "so long as you leave and you don't come back here."

The leader's jaw was clenching furiously and the whites of his eyes were visible.

Harry scoffed at him, "I'm not going to hurt any humans. Least of all your precious little Isabella, even if she _does_ deserve it."

The leader flared his nostrils and Harry tapped his foot, impatient. Finally, the leader snapped and acquiesced, " _Fine,_ just let him go and we'll leave."

Harry's smirk grew and his voice was acid, "There now, see how easy things can be when we just listen to one another?"

Harry kept his face gloating and confident as well as he could as he scrambled internally, trying to figure out how to make his magic let go of the wolf.

_Shit shit shit shit shit_

_Let go,_ he thought, _c'mon just drop him, please please please, bloody buggering fucking useless-_

Then his magic dropped the wolf with some force. That is, enough force to throw him backwards a good distance and have the wolf skid to a stop on his back and whimper loudly.

The other wolves turned to scowl at Harry viscously.

_Oh Merlin_

Harry's eyes were wide but he did his best to look casual, "Er…What? I never said I'd do it _nicely._ "

_Fucking hell_

The injured wolf was on his feet now and he growled and made for Harry again, but the leader stepped in front of him.

" _Jacob_!" he commanded, "Calm down, it's enough," he turned back to the Cullens and met Carlisle's eyes, "if we hear anything, _anything,_ else about any of you attacking a human we will be back."

The leader gave each Cullen one last glare and made sure to sneer at Harry, who was tempted to stick out his tongue but managed to refrain, before he turned and walked back in to the forest. The wolf, Jacob, Harry supposed, turned his massive head to Harry and growled savagely before departing.

Harry let out a low whistle and turned to his family, wiping his hands together in a gesture of a job well done.

"Well," he said, smiling and trying to sound optimistic, "that worked out pretty all right, yeah?"

The looks on his family's faces indicated that they did not agree.

" _Inside_ ," said Carlisle, voice deathly low, " _now."_


End file.
